Priscilla

S4 ⭑ Episode Two

"Think you're just my type.
And now I'm dreaming, dreaming, dreaming, dreaming, dreaming of you."
♪ Dreaming of You • Cigarettes After Sex.

WOMAN AND MAN

"You are not funny."

"I'm fucking hilarious."

I can't stop laughing. Really. My belly hurts. I know soon I'll regret it, but the look on Halen's face when I walked into our secret paradise covered head to toe in only tights and nothing else, was pure damn comedy.

Originally, I was going for more of sexy. While he waited for me, I tore off my dress and underwear and bra, leaving only a sheer pair of pantyhose fresh for the ripping.

But, then I thought about what he'd say or do if I... wrapped myself up in them like a Christmas tree. I put one pair over my arms, busted open the crotch to stick my head through and wore it like a sensible top. From there on, I got carried away.

I have no doubt that I look so dumb.

And it's so worth it.

"Are you really wasting perfectly good clothes for a practical joke?"

I tone down my laughter and waddle closer to where he sits on the edge of the bed, nude and reading.

When I told him to wait for me, I told him with the idea in mind that he'd go bananas horny and impatient with lust like I did last time.

I didn't think he'd be as relaxed. I didn't think he'd pick up a book.

One day I'll find out how to make him go mad.

"Relax, I'm environmentally conscious and I'm not wasteful. I'll use the shredded pieces as stuffing for Chucky's toys. These were all the ones with holes in the ass anyway. There's more than you'd think. Ripping tights is really easy." I stand between his legs and put my hands on his shoulders, "Lucky for you."

"Priscilla," His voice wavers a bit with complaint and he takes off his glasses, "This is no longer going to be sexy. Or easy. Did you have a look at yourself? It may very well take me more than ten minutes to peel these off of you. You're all tangled up-"

"Good. Maybe then you'll know real frustration." I pry the book from his hands with two fingers and close it as I slide onto his lap. "A book? Really? You're supposed to be sat in here, foaming at the mouth for me while you touch yourself, Halen."

"You did not tell me to, Priscilla."

"Oh!" I laugh in surprise, "Someone's getting sassy. The claws are out. Or fangs. Whichever you prefer, snake man."

"Fangs would be my preference. Claws are sort of impractical for any animal I've seen other than lions or bears. Every domestic cat gets' them stuck in things. Carpets. Shoelaces. I hate cats. Alanis's devil spawn Buffy, in particular. That bow she wears is ridiculously ugly. You shouldn't dress animals. It's weird..." He says so with a slight cringe like a cheerleader in high school calls the nerd kid a loser. "They're not children."