Kerosene Kisses and Gasoline Dreams

Part 7

Sirius loved his best friend. Loved. Past tense. Because he's been sitting on his couch drinking a beer for the last hour as James paces his living room accounting for every detail of his little interaction with Severus.

"Padfoot you don't understand, he smiled."

"Ok?"

"When have you ever seen him smile?!"

"Never?"

"Exactly!" James groaned and paced some more.

Seriously, he's been through 3 beers already and James is on the same. Damn. Story.

"Ok Prongs, i love you but I'm getting bored. Tell me when something meaningful happens."

"It's meaningful to me."

"Sorry, let me rephrase. Tell me when you do something meaningful like see him naked. That make more sense?"

"Jesus christ."

"I've been told I look like him but I think it's just the hair."

"I hate you."

"No you don't."

"No I don't. Fuck." James finally sits down after what feels like a millennia of him ranting and sighs, taking Sirius' beer straight out of his hands and taking a sip.

"Hey that's mine!"

"Pads—"

"Don't call me that."

"—do I actually like him?" James looks at Sirius with this confused and almost pained face. Like he's grimacing at his own words.

"You just spent the last hour going on and on about how he smiled. I think you do."

"I know. I was hoping you'd lie to me."

"Yeah I was never gonna spare your feelings." Sirius snatches the beer back as James slumps deeper into the couch.

———————————————————————————

Severus had just gotten out of a grueling 18 hour surgery where he had to put together a heart—that felt like a sac of rotting meat by the way—when he finally had time for lunch. Actually it was 11 am and he'd been in the OR since 5pm the day before so maybe it was brunch?

All he knows is he's standing in line, still in scrubs with his little batman themed scrub cap when someone stands next to him and nudges him.

"You look like you're falling asleep. You ok?" Alice asks and Severus looks at her sleepily.

"18 hour surgery. I want to cry. And sleep."

"So why are you standing in a cafeteria line instead of sleeping?"

"I want food."

"I think that's the first time I've ever heard you say that." She hums and then claps her hands like she has a plan.

Of course she has a plan.

"You go to the sleeping quarters and I'll bring you something to eat."

"I love you. Yes, please." Severus smiles sleepily and trudges off, feet shuffling and creating quiet squeaking noises like a cartoon.

He finds his way to the sleeping quarters which is empty, thank god, and immediately falls onto one of the bunk beds. He's already falling asleep but he has to stay awake and wait for Alice.

He doesn't even realize he's dozing off, he's practically dead asleep when someone shakes his shoulder, sitting next to him and he slowly opens one eye.

"Hey." James smiles at him and Severus sits up, ramrod straight with surprise.

"Uh-"

"Alice told me to bring you this." James holds up a sandwich and a small ceaser salad, which Severus is eyeing with great attention.

"Thanks." Severus' voice is soft as he takes the food and sets it in his lap.

He notices James has his own salad and sandwich when he stands up, giving Severus a sheepish smile as he turns to leave.

"Do you want to....eat with me?" Severus says tentatively.

James spins around comedically and nods, sitting back down with a smile that looks like it's glowing.

"I was hoping you'd let me eat with you." James admits, taking off his shoes and crossing his legs on the bed.

Severus copies him and he can't help but feel like a kid at camp, with the bunkbed and eating facing each other. He laughs a little, kind of in his own world as James happily takes a seat in front of him.

"I like eating with you. It's....relaxing."

"Really?"

"Yeah. It's new, refreshing, sort of." Severus shrugs and James beams, looking down with a shy smile.

Severus watches him for a bit as he opens his salad, as he unwraps his sandwich. He focuses on his hands, the way they inelegantly open the plastic lid. It's a habit from medical school, where he'd obsess over how the senior professors dissected cadavers, trying to analyze their technique.

He notices how James' hands are rough and callused. His knuckles are scarred, signs of trouble. His veins pop, signs of mild dehydration and his skin is tan. The way the tendons in his wrist stick out at a certain angle, how his fingers are slim but still shorter than his own. His palms are big, the inside is callused too.

"Do you lift?" He finds himself asking and James raises his head, a little surprised by the sudden question.

"Uh...yeah. I wrestled in highschool and university so i did some lifting to built muscle. How did you know?" James chuckles, eyebrows furrowed in confusion and amusement.

Severus simply shrugs, still watching his hands.

"You have calluses. You either lift or you worked in construction."

James chuckles and looks down at his hands.

"Didn't realize my calluses revealed so much about me." He smiles.

Severus smiles back. It's involuntary, James' smile imitates on him before he can even stop it.

'This is weird', he thinks to himself, finding the whole ordeal strange. It feels out of place in his routine, but not entirely unpleasant.

Not at all.