The Untold Love

Jealousy Part 2: Confession

By the time the movie finished, Alex was passed out sleeping. I put another movie on as me and Damian were still awake. It felt awkward having him here after what he did to me. I stayed quiet I wanted to avoid talking to him because nothing good comes from it, but he broke the silence.

"So, why do you um...take medicine?" Damian asked as he scratched the back of his neck, he seemed nervous.

"Because I am sick. I have some health issues that I rather not talk about with you. Without them I'd probably be dead or stuck in a hospital." I answered a little coldly. I couldn't help but let out my emotions through my voice. He seemed to notice it too as he stared at me for a while. I didn't dare to look at him and only focused my eyes on the movie. 

"Oh, I see. Does whatever you have hurt though?" Damian kept trying to strike up a conversation with me.

"Sometimes it does but other times it doesn't. Look I don't like talking about it can you stop...?" I said but with a colder tone to my voice and that seem to hurt him.

"Why are you so cold towards me? What have I done to deserve this?" He asked feeling defensive.

"Well gee, I'm sorry if I'm mean to you. You're the one that molested me, then wanted me to forgive you instantly. Then when we did make up you hurt me by kiss that bitch Lorissa knowing that I have feelings for you." I snapped, "Why would you do that in front of me...don't you know how many times I've replayed it in my head and wish it was me instead! But at the same time, I wish it never happened to me because of my history!  You confuse me sometimes! I get so flustered when I'm around you...I-I can't stop thinking about you. I can't...I can't stop these urges to just jump on you." I sighed after ranting and turned back to the movie.

I was nervous, I just confessed to him without meaning to. This was the time to reject me or just ignore it all. I hoped he would just ignore it. Damian stared at me the shocked look on his face said it all. I sat there wishing Alex would wake up and ask for more popcorn like he always did. That didn't happen. Instead, he just rolled over and drooled more onto the pillow under his head. I swallowed hard before looking over at Damian from the corner of my eye. I couldn't take this silence anymore and I needed to be alone to cry. I stood up not caring about the movie anymore and made my way to my room. 

"Max! Wait!" Damian called as tried to follow me, his socks made him slip on the wooden floor. 

I made it into my room and was about to shut the door when his arm pushed it open and he made his way into my room. He was breathing heavily from having to run up the stairs in socks and try not to fall again. I looked away from him as he shut the door behind him. Great, this is not the time for this. I need to be alone. Damian took in a deep breath to calm his breathing and looked over my room.

"Forget what I said. I-" I couldn't think of anything to say my mind was filled with so much. I couldn't find the right words to say anything.

"I-I just.." Damian started as he inched closer, and I began to panic I wanted to avoid him. 

I looked up at him hoping that he would see how scared I was and leave. Instead, my heart skipped a beat at the sad blue color his eyes were. They were almost dull, like a still ocean. I bit my lower lip and looked away again. I moved away towards my bed hoping he'd keep his distance. He closed it in one stride.

"Max...is it true? Do I make you feel like that? Shy, desiring, confused? " Damian asked his eyes seemed different this time they seem to shine with gentleness, "Do you really...like me?" he questioned as he caressed my cheek.

I closed my eyes at his touch wishing this wasn't happening right now. This was not the way I had planned for my confession to go, or for it to even happen. His voice was soft, almost a whisper. His touch was as gentle as a summer breeze. I got lost in the sensations of his voice and his touch. I couldn't muster a word. His hand kept caressing my cheek then he traced my bottom lip with his thumb. I started to feel something in the pit of my stomach, knowing that feeling all too well I turned my head away from his touch. 

"I-I don't want...to repeat history."" I whispered. 

"I know. I won't hurt you like he did. I promise you that." He replied as he turned my head towards him again and leaned in. His lips brushed mine gently, barely a touch. " I like you too much to hurt you. Let me hear you say it too." He said against my lips. 

I wasn't sure what to say or think at this point. The only thing I heard was that he liked me too, my mind couldn't wrap around that. He pulled away only a few centimeters as he looked into my eyes. His were a sweet blueberry color now, almost as though he was trying to tell me to take my time. I took a deep breath; it couldn't be hard to confess again. 

"Yes, you do...you make me confused at times. Everything you do affects me so much." I slowly began, "You make my heart pound in my chest when I'm around you. Every time you touch me, I am left with the feeling of wanting more. I can't seem to shake you outta my head. I don't want to believe in this feeling because I know they won't do me any good. I-I can't shake it off. I want you..." I finally admitted it to him once again. 

Damian had a huge smile on his face. He stayed silent for a bit which made me worry that he didn't hear me. He leaned in and kissed me. I kissed back briefly only to pull away from him. I loved the idea that he could actually like me back. There was just one thing stopping me from throwing myself at him, my history. I didn't want to go through that again, ever. Besides, what would Damian think when he finds out the shit my ex put me through. What would happen if Damian knew all the horrid torture I went through? Would he stay? Or would he leave?

Time will tell. I just hope he won't make fun of me and turn around and say he's dating Lorissa. I pushed away from him and walked over to my desk. I grabbed a pencil in case things went south after I said what was on my mind. I turned towards him and glared to make sure he understood how angry I would be if he lied to me.

"I have one question." I said and pointed a finger at him.

"Where did your nerves go? Heh, shoot. I'll answer anything." He chuckled.

"Are you dating Lorissa?" I asked.

"God no, I only did those to her because...she was black mailing me." He sighed.

"What do you mean?" I asked raising placing the pencil back down.

"She and I are very old ...acquaintances. Not friends, she knows me from a mutual friend. Knows a couple secrets I wish she didn't." Damian growled.

I thought it over. I couldn't decide if he was being honest or not. I didn't want to be lied to anymore. I just want to trust him, but he'll have to prove it to me.

"Ok...if you're lying to me this end." I said sternly.

"Of course. I wouldn't to trick you." Damian agreed.

My heart skipped again, I just agreed to try dating him. Right? That's what I agreed to? I should ask right? 

I heard movement outside my door meaning Alex woke up.