As Tey swung the door open I could feel the sterile air hit my face. A shiver ran through my body- fear. Pure and utter fear filled my body. The reality was starting to settle in now. I had six months to graduate highschool, with a 4.0, AT A NEW SCHOOL & whoever my guild is will be getting me though it. A stranger who will probably just be full of themself- leaving me in the dust. No, I'm not incredibly smart (not even close). As my ommi (mom) described it, "I have an obsessive personality". Which honestly really fucking sucks.
"Atokirina Sully"- a force full voice spoke. My head winced at the pain of someone saying my full name, as if the migraine wasn't worse enough.
The man who spoke was tall & tan, with long curly black hair, bright blue eyes, & many tattoos covering part of his neck.
"Yes ???" I answered in a slightly bitchy tone. My younger brother Lo'ak noticed this right way & gave me an eyeing look to be nice.
"Is that how you pronounce it ?"
" It is- however I go by Kiri."
"Oh okay"
The tall man then turned & waved us over to what appeared to be his office. My siblings & I followed him like lost puppy dogs. We all huddled in the corner near the door.
" Okay, we're all ready for my kids." He spoke into his intercom- why do we need his kids ? Quite quickly he turned to face us & started to introduce himself. Apparently he was the principal, his wife is the nurse here, & his kids were going to be are guides- fucking fantastic. A family operation.
My body already knew it's reaction to when I'm annoyed, so before I stop myself a loud sigh escaped my lungs. Before I even had the chance to apologize & blame it on the migraine three teens burst in.
My eyes immediately went to the tallest one- now he's something to look at. Basically the same as his dad but younger of course. My eyes shot to my brother, tey, only to see him trying to keep his cool as well. I mean it's not every day you see someone like that at a high school.
" Sorry dad- someone wouldn't move quick enough"- A breath taking girl spoke as she eyed her other brother. He was slightly taller me with curly hair, not like his brother at all. I pushed past the stage of examining them, unlike lo'ak whose jaw couldn't be dangling any lower.
"H-hey", Lo'ak nervously spoke to the girl. She smiled wildly, showing off her perfect dimples, & all of a sudden I was comparing myself to her. I did this too often for comfort- comfort in my own skin. Hating myself was just something I started to live with. Hating my thighs, my stomach, my noise, my smile, my everything. There was almost nothing I even liked about myself. I don't know how people aren't insecure, if someone where to crack open my head there would nothing but insecurities filling it.
So when truly seeing this girl- all I could do was hate myself even more. For being taller than her- taking up more space then her. "I'm not thin enough"- that thought had a permanent home in my brain. Of course I'm not thin enough- I'm not enough of anything. And I know I'm a bad person for having these thoughts, I know. But that doesn't stop them from coming.
Before the girl could speak her father started passing out are schedules & assigning the guides. Secretly I was hoping to get 6'5 beast that stood before me- but no. Of course not, Tey got him- good for Tey I guess. I got stuck with his brother- dame.
I faked smiled at him but I noticed that he was just staring at me... admiring me ??? No, no- maybe I just look strange, of course I look strange, maybe he had never seen someone as repulsive as me. This thought made me frown, I quickly blinked back my tears & said goodbye to my brothers.
" I'll text you both soon"- Tey
"Okay brother" Me and lo'ak said in sync. The boy made a confused face at this, but proceeded to walk me out and into the hallway.
"Hi I'm Rotxo, but some people call me Ro. I prefer Ro but Rotxo is fine..."
"Well hi, I'm Kiri."
"That's a pretty name."
"Thx."
He then started to go on and on about classes and schedules and the school. I mean fuck he is ANNOYING- my body's response this time was a self hug. I give myself hugs often, it makes me feel safe and secure- at peace.
"Are you okay ?" His tone was soft and pure. Though my anger with him was only building. He just got under skin. With me giving him no response he moved in closer- gross. As he leaned in my nostrils were filled with putrid sent of weed. Now I have to deal with this too- I mean how much more annoying could he get ???
"I'm good, just a migraine." I unraveled my arms, huffing and puffing, as I walked at a slightly faster pace to escape his scent. At least I was at my first class- which sadly I had with him.
I shrugged my shoulders as I settled into my seat. I then realized that this class was math, with Mrs. Gales, in the morning as my first period of the day. AMAZING- not.
"Must be a bad migraine". Fuck now he's next to me ?!
"Yeah, how could you tell ?"
"You look in pain". Of course I was in pain- I'm always in pain. There is ALWAYS something wrong with me. I am too much of an issue- a burden.
"Yeah".
"Im sorry."
"It's fine."
Why should he be sorry- it's not like he gave me a migraine. Though he could have, & his presence was only making it worse to be honest.
Another loud sigh emerged from my lungs. I could not do this- I'm not good enough to do this.
__________________________________ 1008 words
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