Carmen's pov: TW WARNING: SH
Lately, Kay has been moved around, she won't tell us what's going on or why she's been off, when I walk in I'll see her sitting with a frown on her face as she writes notes but she never shows me what she's writing, and just plays it off with a smile.
She also has been filming something, she's been taking more pictures, and late at night she'll sneak away with the camera then walk back in an hour later.
She's gone to WCKD a ton of times, we've only gone 5 out of the 12 checkups.
Hopefully nothings wrong.
She's going to leave again this week, so the night before she leaves we decided to go to our little hide out.
We get to the cozy little treehouse, turn on the fireplace, as she warms up some tea.
"It's great that we get to hang out before I leave for a little while." She says, her Russian has definitely gotten better. She turns around.
'Why do you have to leave?' I sign to her with a gloom look on my face.
"It's just a check up, and you'll have Reya and Nina with you." She says turning around and pouring the steaming water into the cups. When she turns around and hands my cup I sign to her.
'Why have you had so many?' I furrow my brows yo her worried. She gets nervous.
"Well, they are just trying to make sure that this is a comfortable delivery." She says, she's clearly lying. I give her a look and tilt my head a little bit.
"Really, that's all." She says, smiling.
How can I be mad at someone with a smile like that.
She talked as I signed for a few good hours, it then was getting dark and we snuck back to our room.
We walk back to our room.
"Good night, LoveBug." Kayla says, in her sweet tone as she plops on the only bed in the room.
"Good night, Kayla." I whisper, she smiles as the lights go out and I wait to hear her snores, when I know everyone is asleep, I grab a cloth that has blood stain on it, for a while now I've been cutting on nights like this.
I grab the blade that is covered in a tissue to the bathroom. I sit down in the cold floor and roll up my pant leg up to my thigh to reveal lines going up and down some horizontal too.
I dig in and just carry it with my hand as the pain rushes through me.
this is what I've been looking for, the feeling to be able to feel something.
It starts to bleed I wipe the blood up and carry myself to the door, Amari is standing there.
"Are you okay?" He asks me as I look at him, I just nod and carry myself to bed where I lay and scroll through my phone to try and find a way out.
~~~
Kayla left too early in the morning for me to say bye to her, but she left a note and I can always DM her on Instagram. Hopefully she doesn't have an DeeDee problems again.
~~~
Kayla was coming back today , I'm waiting in our room, as my feet bounce off the floor and the music in my ears is blasting.
I just want to feel something.
My alarm goes off, it's time for my daily pills.
I hate antidepressants. I always feel tired after.
I swallow them and take a swig of water. Kayla then walks in the room as the shove the box in between the wall and sleeping bag.
"Carmen!" She squeals as she holds onto me.
"Kayla." I say in a soft whisper. I feel tear drops hut my shoulder.
It's Kayla.
She's always crying. It's probably just the hormones.
"What's wrong?" Amari asks as he walks into the room and puts her bags down.
"I'm just so happy to see you, Carmen." She says as she looks at me. I just nod, my brain is all foggy, and I feel disconnected from life right now.
"And I'm really hungry." She says, which gets a laugh from Lee and Amari.
"I also need to tell you about DeeDee (aka Teresa)." She says, rolling her eyes and wiping her tears.
"Mhm." I say barley hearing myself.
"So I walk in and see DeeDee standing there. I didn't know who she was except for her boss who's always diss in the RedRoom online, then I recognized her. I tried so hard not to laugh. She then came up to me and was trying to talk to me after all the drama she's in with my WCKD friends she's really crazy." Kayla says , my eyebrows widen.
"Now that crazy." Lee says, laughing. Amari just crossed his arms and looked at me as he chuckled a little bit.
"And she told me that she knows you, and how she wants to 'recoil you guy's friendship' but the whole time I was thinking 'what the he'll is going on and where is my turkey sandwich with honey at.' She says, getting a chuckle from the others, I just shake my head.
"Like who the fuck does she think she is." She say, putting her clothes away.
"That's mad crazy, for a traitor." Lee says, giggling, and moving around on his spot on the floor.
I'm just happy that Kayla's back. But I'm so tired.
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Sorry, this part was short and so are the others going to be but I have been reading Anne with an E Gilbert stuff and I'm kinda growing out of this story, so I haven't had any motivation to write anything.
I also have been really tired and dealing w stuff so I'm moving slower, than before.
I also have been in camp so this is a slow moving process that u need to get over so I can finally write my fav part ✨Death cure ✨
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