The Awakening Storm

07 | alliance

6/9

L E A F

My mind was the center of whirling emotions and thoughts that kept me from thinking about where I currently am at the moment. After burying the old she-cat, the clan grieved for the loss of a memorable she-cat especially Parsleyseed, Cloudfur, and Snowpebble. The sons of Flowerheart and Guststar. My heart broke just thinking about the heavy, distraught feeling yesterday, watching Flowerheart's white tail become brown from being dragged across the ground. It reminded me of Willownose, watching her brown colored pelt become more reddish and browner from the dirt that snagged in her unmoving body. The image was the exact same, I could barely stand there watching Flowerheart being carried away without seeing Willownose's green-blue eyes boring into mine.

Dead, glassy, dull—exactly like Willownose. I excused myself from the memorial, saying that I was feeling unwell—no one stopped me—and headed into the apprentice den where I also found Silentpaw. She was curled against the wall of the den, her body shaking slightly. I wanted to comfort her, tell her that I understand what she was going through, but my paws moved the other direction. Away from her and towards my nest where I collapsed into, and tried to block out all the noise and memories of Willownose.

"Leafpaw, pay attention!" Dawnsky's voice snapped me out of my dazed state. I slightly shake my head and bat my eyelids a couple of times before turning my head to the black and white tortoiseshell she-cat. She had stopped walking and turned to face me. Stoneheart, who was a couple of mouse-tail length away from her, also stopped walking and padded besides her.

"I'm sorry, did you say something?"

Dawnsky stared at me with an amused expression. "You're attention span is just as terrible as a squirrel—and that is not good. Leafpaw, you're an experienced apprentice now, you should be more sharper than this." She looked down at me with a disappointed gaze. "Especially when we're on a border patrol."

I dropped my head. "I'm sorry," I mumbled, feeling ashamed for zoning out.

"Ah, give her a break," Stoneheart reasoned. "Flowerheart just died yesterday, and the situation with the rogues hasn't gotten any better. The whole clan is mourning, do not scold her, she's been through enough already." Stoneheart's empathetic gaze fell on me. 

Dawnsky sighed heavily, her shoulder sagging slightly at the mention of Flowerheart's death. It was a hard day yesterday, Flowerheart's death was expected, but still no one was prepared to loose the old she-cat. Her death, Willownose's death, the situtation with Silentpaw, the rogues, and the fire was all sending me into an emotional spiral. I was a wreck and I didn't know what to do, who to rely on, how to fix up anything. It was just so wrong.

"I know, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap. Quite hypocritical of me if you say, just focus here for now, alright? We don't need you getting hurt."

I nodded my head. "Yeah, okay. I'm sorry."

Dawnsky sighed and shook her head. "It's okay," she mewed, her voice sounding tight and strangled. I gave her a confused look, but Dawnsky pretended it didn't happen. "Now let's head back to camp. Finchstar wanted everyone to be there so she can choose the first patrol that went to ShadowClan." Dawnsky quickened her pace, and Stoneheart and I had to keep up as we hurried through the forest. 

I've noticed some things about Dawnsky ever since the battle with the Rogues in ThunderClan's camp. She was more jittery and impatient, and was practically on the edge of her paws. She was also heavily distracted and was often zoned out when asked about something. This wasn't Dawnsky, she would never get distracted easily, that wasn't her. She would always remained focused and on thought, but now she seemed to be bothered by something—something serious enough to ruffle her fur. It wasn't like Dawnsky at all, and I was worried for her.