An Unlikely Love Affair

20 - Giving in to Madness

IRENE

"Aish!" I tossed my phone to the floor and covered my face with a pillow.

I was sprawled on my bed, still in the outfit I wore during the award show. I was watching fancams of tonight's show, specifically those of Jennie and Lisa. Their fans and shippers surely enjoyed the skinship that was put on display for them. The cheer of the crowd going wild for JenLisa is still ringing in my ears. I must be going crazy.

This year was off to a rough start. After Jennie's birthday, her and Kai's relationship was exposed to the public, putting SM and YG in a tight spot. Dispatch has been hinting at this for some time and finally released irrefutable evidence proving that the speculations are true. SNS has been a circus following the reveal, with an array of reactions and comments from netizens. It's hard to tell whether the majority is for them or against them.

SM immediately went into full damage control. All artists were called to a meeting by our CEO to lecture us on why there are restrictions and why the company's stature should always come first. We were dismissed soon after except for Kai.

To be honest, I was more concerned about Jennie. Even when the dating rumors had just begun, she has constantly been the target of internet trolls and haters. Now that it's proven, she's still receiving most of the backlash.

YG's CEO, I learned, was infuriated upon hearing the news and confiscated all blackpink members' phones. The girls were now under strict supervision of their managers and were prohibited from using their devices indefinitely. The other 3 members were being punished as well for being accomplices to Jennie's transgression. So, in the wake of these recent events, the last time I communicated with Lisa was when she called after dispatch's big reveal broke the internet.

We haven't seen, talked or messaged each other since then. It's only at the award show both our groups attended tonight that we finally got to see each other again.

They arrived a bit later than us. Jennie, Jisoo and Rosie walked in together but when Jennie realized Lisa was left behind she waited and held her hand out for the blonde to hold.

Lisa was dazzling. She had her blonde hair in a ponytail and her outfit emphasized all her curves and best assets. I couldn't take my eyes off of her.

She walked confidently hand in hand with Jennie while politely bowing to seniors and juniors alike. They stopped at Twice's table to chat for a bit and I noticed she was distracted, expectantly searching the crowd of idols. My heart fluttered at the thought that it could be me she was trying to find.

Jennie was being especially clingy to Lisa tonight. Maybe because the issue on "JenKai" hasn't really died down yet and although both companies have confirmed the news and declared their support for the couple, hate comments still perpetuated.

Jennie once shared that she'd have panic attacks so severe it gets harder to shake off each time. She mentioned that Lisa calms her, that just having their maknae around puts her at ease and makes the anxiety bearable. I understand why she would turn to Lisa during these times but understanding doesn't make it any easier to watch them together.

The two were glued to the hip all night. It was not until Yeri called their group to sit at our table that they were briefly separated. Jennie sat next to Yeri who was seated beside me while Lisa sat across from us.

This was when Lisa and I finally saw each other for the first time since their restrictions were put in place. My eyes sought hers only to find that she had already been looking. Before now, she only had her sights on Jennie but this time her focus was on me. We were just staring at each other for a while, tracing one another's appearance longingly. I felt my heart skip beats as those big doe eyes continued to gaze at me intently. She mouthed a silent "Yeppeudda" before breaking into an alluring smile.