Keep Trying, Sweetheart

33 - i love you.

Jessica's POV:

I end up falling asleep in Jade's arms. And I wake up to her still holding me. Except she's wide awake.

"Hi Jade," I whisper, sitting up.

"Hey," she says. I look at her. She sits up.
"How are you feeling?"

"Like absolute shit, Jade." She nods.
"Although it's not your job to make me feel better! I can call someone else. It's fine."

"But I want to make you feel better."

"I don't care. Shh." I place my finger on her lips.

"Not your job." I stand up and go into her bathroom. I look at my appearance. My face puffy and tears staining my cheeks.

I wash my face and pat it dry. The tears come again.

"No. Stop it," I whisper to myself. I wipe my tears and walk out past Jade. Cora opens her mom's door at the same time I open her's.

Our eyes lock. Her face looks identical to mine.

"You can go," she says softly. I go downstairs. She doesn't follow me.

I walk out and onto the beach. I go up to the water and sit down. I let it hit me fully clothed.

I'm losing her. She's slipping away from me and I can't do anything to fix it. She's disgusted by me.

The tears come again. A man and a woman come and sit next to me. Both of them have blonde hair and green eyes.

"Are you okay?" The woman asks.

"No," I say. I sniffle and wipe my tears. Sand gets on my face. The man wipes it off with his thumb.
"Am I about to be sex trafficked?" I ask.

"No! We're Abby and Andrew's parents. You're Jessica. Abby told us about you last night she said she felt terrible."

"Oh. Yeah. Well. Yeah I mean... yeah. I wanna kill myself. Like actually. I feel worthless. Like I mean I know I'm not supposed to be dependent on someone to make me happy and I know that's really toxic but I don't know I guess it fucking did and now it's too late," I say.

Her mother nods.

"And now I just feel like- helpless. I can't prevent anything that's happening in her brain. She's repulsed by me."

"That's really hard, baby," her mother whispers. She rubs my back.

"It is and it sucks!" I start to sob. Her father pulls me into his arms.

Why am I sobbing in a stranger's arms? What the hell is happening to me?

It feels great, though. It really does.

He strokes my hair and plants kisses on my head.

Damn, it feels great.

I cling onto him like I'm five.

"You're a stranger I'm sorry!" I sob, pulling away. He pulls me back and shakes his head.

"It doesn't matter who the hell you are, Jessie. If you're struggling you need somebody to help you. You can't sit here and cry by yourself because you'll be dead in the next hour."

"That's so true!" I sob.

"I know." He holds me tighter.

"It may seem weird that we're both over here, but we've both struggled with mental health issues ourselves. We understand how you feel, Jessie," he says.

"All we want to do is help," her mom says softly.

"But why help a lost cause?"

"Because you're not a lost cause," her mom says. "You have a purpose, Jessica."