jumil/jujae : drink it.

seventeen: before you.

this chapter contains heavy mention of sex, and slight mention of abuse and self harming behaviors. read at your own risk.

-

it was now 2 am.

juyeon and hyunjae were sitting in living room while younghoon and chanhee are passed out on the floor. hyunjae pours himself another glass, juyeon looks at him as hyunjae pours the whiskey into his glass, mixing it with cold water. before he can gulp it down, juyeon interrupts.

" hyunjae, you drink too much. " juyeon speaks, attempting to grab the drink from hyunjae's hand, but hyunjae's reflexes pulled back. " and so does everyone in my family. but they're old and unfortunately, still alive " hyunjae claps back. " you must've had a difficult upbringing. " juyeon says. " no, if I do tell people my story, i won't be paid much attention to, atleast not compared to someone who has been through abuse or some screwed up shit like that. you know, mine is the typical alcoholic family story. " he says. hyunjae does feel guilty. maybe if he confessed he wasn't in a good place mentally, he wouldn't be treated like trash. but he never had the guts to say so. his parents didn't notice either. but he tried. in 7th grade, he confessed to his self harming habits and self destructive behavior, he first got accused of being a liar, and got told that him saying this was just him trying to justify his bad grades. he did end up starting therapy though, only to never finish it.

" it's just that i- " hyunjae speaks, making an attempt to explain his situation. " don't. " juyeon cuts him off. " you don't have to, hyunjae. i don't understand what you're going through, but i know you don't want to talk about it. and, i also know sober hyunjae wouldn't have been ready to confess all this. " he explains, with the gentlest voice. hyunjae's eyes shine, as he leans in towards juyeon, kissing him on the lips. " what did i do to be loved by someone like you? " he says, voice breaking. " you didn't give up, and tried your best. and i love you for that. " the younger smiles.

" what about you, your grandma, what's your story? "

" in summary, my parents are shit, my grandma used to save me when they verbally abused me, but then she passed away and i got kicked out. they burned everything that belonged to her, but i managed to grab an antique watch of hers. i took it with me, scared they will burn that down too. i don't know where my parents are now. i don't know if they're alive. that shop owner i once introduced you too is a distant relative of my parents. he tries to talk to me about them, but i stop him. i don't want to listen. he's my only family, i guess you could say. he's a good man, but i am not that close with him either. "

" the first thing i noticed about you was your antique watch, it was such a contrast to your uniform. but it was also so..painfully beautiful. " upon hearing this, juyeon gave hyunjae a peck on his nose.

"juyeon?"

"yes, love?"

"what were you, before i came into your life?"

"i was pretty much nothing, hyunjae. i still am nothing. but now, feel like i have gotten something to live for. back in the day, i would just do my work, eat and get as much as sleep as i possibly can before running for other jobs. all my co-workers teased me and called me a robot, because i showed no emotion on my face. i knew they meant no harm but not gonna lie, all that teasing made me insecure of my facial expressions while i was staying neutral. i have worked more than 30 part time jobs in the span of 3 months. i had no life other than wanting to earn money."

"that determination is crazy, juyeon."

"thanks, but it isn't always a good thing. back then, i was just existing. i had no purpose in life. it felt like even if someone shot me, i would die peacefully because i had nothing to live for anyways. but now that i met you, things are different. i no longer just work to earn money, i work to be financially stable so you and i can have a future together, even though we have been dating for just a few months. i always feel excited when i think about meeting you or when i go to sleep because i can talk to you the next day. i get excited to go to dance, whenever i'd get hurt, i'd not even bother to treat the wound because i didn't care, but now, i also started caring about my own health because i don't want you to leave you alone in this cruel world. "

hyunjae kissed juyeon's forehead, then his lips, then his neck. "i love you." he says. juyeon says it back, reciprocating the kiss. they both sat in silence for a while. hyunjae with his head on juyeon's shoulder.

" juyeon? "

" yes? "

" have you ever had sex? "

" hyunjae, you're drunk. "

" answer my question. " hyunjae looks at juyeon. even in his drunkened state, hyunjae notices the blush on juyeon's cheeks. whether it was because of the cold, the question he just asked, or the fact that his hand was now resting on juyeon's thigh, caressing him, looks like he'll never know.

" i haven't. " juyeon says.

" so you're a virgin? "

" in every department. you were my first kiss, so... " juyeon's voice trails low.

" you're cute. " hyunjae pinches his cheeks.

" what about you? "

" i've slept around a lot, honestly. " hyunjae confesses. "wait, really?" juyeon was pleasantly suprised, he didn't expect this at all. not that he was judging him at all, though. he didn't like judging people because of their body count. "i am not proud of it or anything. it just happens. everytime i go to a club, i somehow end up in someone's bed." hyunjae laughs about it. "well, i guess you're just very easy to impress, huh?" juyeon teases. hyunjae shakes his head. "not at all, i didn't even like most of the guys and girls i went with, i just wanted the pleasure. but oh god, most of them were horrible. " hyunjae cringes.

"horrible?"

"one of them wanted me to moan her ex's name, and another wanted me to straight up moo like a cow. needless to say, i bolted out of there pretty fast."

juyeon laughs. " that's weird. "

after a few seconds of silence, juyeon asks a question he never thought he would ask, but the alcohol in his veins, though very less than hyunjae, and the ambience gave him the courage to do so.

"are you good?"

"at what?"

"are you good at sex?"

"what kind of question is that?" hyunjae laughs.

"well, not trying to boast or anything but most of the people i have had sex with, still hit me up asking for a second round, so i think i'm pretty good." he answers anyway.

"have you ever fucked a guy before?"

"i have done oral, but penetrative sex? nah."

"do you want to?" juyeon asks, after a long pause.

"are you implying that we should, right next to our sleeping bestfriends, get it on? because i am kinda down. " hyunjae winks.

"i would like to take that step with you someday, hyunjae. but when we are sober."

" i agree. "

"it's late, shall we sleep?" juyeon asks, but hyunjae never misses the oppurtunity to tease. " together?" he made a shocked face. "well..i am down for cuddles, if you'd like it." juyeon replies, shyly. hyunjae misses no time in jumping on the bed and opening his arms for juyeon to engulf, and he gladly did so. both drifitng off to sleep.

-

the couple were met with disturbance in their sleep in the wee hours of the morning by very violent shaking, leading both hyunjae and juyeon to bolt awake at the same time. the couple looked around their surroundings to find younghoon standing infront of them and violently about to smash his pillow into hyunjae's face, which juyeon defended with his hand.

"I HEARD THE CONVERSATION YESTERDAY, Y'ALL FUCKED IN MY BED, DIDN'T YOU??"