jumil/jujae : drink it.

twenty: an unwanted offer.

tw: this chapter contains slight mentions of depression and eating disorders. if it's too heavy for you at the moment, please come back later :)

-

it was a sunny monday afternoon, the wind was blowing and the weather was warm enough to allow just a full-sleeve shirt. as the warm days passed and the cold nights did too, hyunjae was sick of ignoring his parents. not that he felt guilty, because he really didn't, it was more so because his parents were not gonna let him get away unscathed if he continued to not give them an answer. hope lost and exhausted, hyunjae dragged himself to juyeon's apartment, without his knowledge.

"who is it so early in the mo- hyunjae?" juyeon asked as he opened the door, confused. hyunjae gave him a weak smile and apologized for showing up without a warning. "you don't need to apologize, babe. you're my boyfriend." juyeon kisses him, he kisses back but it was obvious that juyeon wanted a longer kiss, but hyunjae pushed him away. "yeah, about that..." his voice's trails off. "is everything alright?" juyeon asks. he could sense the moment he saw hyunjae's face that something wasn't right. not to mention, hyunjae showing up at his apartment during juyeon's days off was something the older admitted he doesn't like doing because he feels like he disturbs the few days his boyfriend gets off, though the younger protested.

"yeah. it's just, i am kinda overwhelmed right now."

"do you mind telling me why?"

"not at all, but maybe it'd be better if i come inside?"

"oh my god, ofcourse! i am sorry, i got way too worried when i saw your sad bear face." juyeon nodded his head, embarrassed. "my sad what?" hyunjae narrows his eyes.

"i have you saved as 'bear' on my phone." juyeon says, with the biggest smile ever, his voice accompanied a cute tone that made hyunjae go feral.

can't believe this was the same man who was fucking my brains out a few days ag- shit hyunjae. not now.

"what are you thinking about?" juyeon asks, innocently. hyunjae lets out an awkward laugh. "no no, you're just so adorable. i love you." juyeon smiles. "i love you too."

the two take a seat in juyeon's couch. as he entered the house, the smell immediately hit hyunjae, it was so warm and comforting. it smelled like something he couldn't explain, it smelled like the sun, it smelled like a warm summer day that pushed the cold away, it smelled like juyeon. it smelled like how juyeon usually smells like without his manly cologne. how juyeon smelled that day when he woke up beside hyunjae, both their vulnerable and naked bodies covered under silk sheets.

"juyeon, how long have we been dating, again?"

juyeon is taken aback by that question. "uhm, around 6 months. why do you ask?" he questions back, still confused.

"do you want to meet my parents?"

in that very moment, hyunjae could see it. the look in juyeon's eyes.

"juyeon, i am gonna be honest. i don't want you to meet them, they've brought me more pain than they have brought good. we've only been dating for a few months, and even if we were an engaged couple, you still don't owe them your presence. i respect them because they're my parents, and you can do the same, from afar."

hyunjae stares at his boyfriend, who now lays completely still, his head supported by his hand which is curled up in a fist, eyes looking downwards towards the floor, and mind thinking about the words hyunjae just said.

"i will meet them."

"great, i will tell them no- WAIT WHAT."

juyeon smiles.

"i want to meet them."

-

"juyeon, if you're saying this because you're scared that my parents won't approve of you and manipulate me into leaving you, you are wrong. my parent's manipulations have never led me to make decisions their way. i am the stubborn type, i always do what i want and you know it." hyunjae says, quite sternly.

"baby, i know. it's not because i am scared. it's because i genuinely am curious about them. your film director dad and your actor mom, why you despise them so much and yet respect them with every living cell in your body, it's something i want to find out and dig deeper into. call me nosy, but i don't care. i want to know everything about you." juyeon is serious, and hyunjae can see it in his eyes. the once hesitant and look of confusion is now replaced with eyes that are blazing with passion and curiosity.

"do you know why i hate my parents, juyeon?"

"tell me."

hyunjae sighs. "my mom, she's an alcoholic, still is, she would never admit it though. she isn't the type to drink a lot, she's the type that depends on it. after drinking, she will take something i said and twist it in a way so everyone would see me as the villain, then blackmail me into feeling sorry for her. she will ask me to leave her alone and when i do, she goes on about how no one appreciates her. when i ask her to eat dinner, she will say i am controlling her like my father."

juyeon blinks his eyes. "damn, hyunjae. she sounds like a piece of work." hyunjae laughs. "she really is."

"and your dad?" juyeon asks. he didn't know why, but listening to hyunjae's stories, especially about his detestation towards his parents, was something he found really interesting. growing up, juyeon didn't really have a chance to hate his parents. his mind was full of words they said to him, words of anger and hatred which eventually flooded his headspace so much to the point that he couldn't even think about hating them. he just wanted to love them and wanted them to accept him, but they never did.

hyunjae sighs again. juyeon notices how hyunjae's sighs seem to occur very frequently when the topic of choice is about his parents.

"my dad? well, he never understood me. i was suffering from severe depression, and yet he never believed me. he thought it was impossible for me to suffer from depression. he didn't believe in psychology, even my therapist gave up. not to mention, he's super hypocritical and blames me for nothing. he isn't that bad when compared to my mom though, because he's quiet most of the time. i was never that close with him anyways, so my trauma doesn't include him all too much."

"at age 12, i ended up developing an eating disorder due to how depressed i was all the time. my mom made it seem like it was my fault i couldn't eat. it was just a lot."

"i want to meet them, hyunjae. but i am not going to pressure you to take me there."

"no, juyeon. don't get me wrong. i don't have a problem with you meeting them. i am just scared that you'll get treated the way i was, though i know that's very unlikely."

"hyunjae, i want to know how the people who made you, raised you into the man you are, or maybe, how they ended up screwing up at their job so bad that you had to raise yourself and ended up despising them so much. i want to know it all." juyeon breathes out.

"well then, pack your bags." hyunjae sighs.

"we're going to my hometown."