jumil/jujae : drink it.

twenty two : sunken in a sea of thoughts.

"so, juyeon. do you like films?"

juyeon was taken aback by this question. he thought the first question he would be asked was going to be about his education or background, answers to which he had already recited, but this was new. he hesitantly started speaking,

"yes, sir. i do. i don't get the chance to watch them very often, though. my favorite is the 'Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind'."

"oh, that sure is a good choice." hyunjae's mother chimed in.

"i agree, that's a good piece of work. one of the stylists for their team has worked with me before, actually." the man said.

he was relieved to find out they were satisfied with his answer. they obviously possess a good amount of knowledge about films since they work in that field. gosh, picking a shit movie would have probably thrown them off real bad. juyeon thought to himself.

juyeon was too busy collecting all his thoughts and the surroundings, so it was no surprise as to how he missed hyunjae's silence, but his parents sure didn't. "hyunjae, dear. you're so quiet today, what's up?" hyunjae, who was staring at his untouched plate of food, shot his head up and gave them a tired smile. "sorry, mom. i am just tired. the train journey over here was no worse than hell."

another lie.

judging by the look on his parent's faces, juyeon and hyunjae alike, could tell very well that the couple did not believe their son's sleazy lie, but respected his decision to not dive into the topic further.

-

"juyeon, we can talk in the evening. do you mind if we take a nap? i get heavy food coma." the woman laughs, juyeon was tired too and he wanted nothing more than to take some rest, "yeah ofcourse, ma'am. sleep well. you too, sir. " juyeon wished the couple, they smiled in response and disappeared into their room.

juyeon walked through the living room and into hyunjae's room, hyunjae was laying on the bed, scrolling on his phone. a part of juyeon felt pretty neglected, he understood hyunjae was having a hard time mentally, but juyeon too came all the way here just to meet his parents, did he not deserve some sort of acknowledgment?

"i hope you know my parents are gonna gossip about you now."

"what?"

hyunjae smiles.

"i love you, you did well."

juyeon's lips turn into a wide smile, a smile that will always be hyunjae's favorite. a smile that hyunjae promised he would never let anyone ruin.

"do you think they liked me?"

hyunjae sat in his bed, and motioned juyeon to do the same.

"i honestly really don't know. my parents are unpredictable, they aren't the type to get impressed easily too. they either love you or hate you, no middle ground." hyunjae knew his wordings were harsh, and definitely not the most comforting thing to hear right now, but it was the truth and hyunjae didn't want to give juyeon fake hope by lying.

"i just hope it's not the latter.." juyeon says, pouting.

hyunjae leans over and kisses juyeon on the lips, finding his pouty face adorable. juyeon grabs hyunjae's neck, connecting their lips together in a heart-warming kiss, one that they both were very much in need of. he made himself comfortable on juyeon's lap, as juyeon caressed his waist. they both parted, gasping for air as hyunjae went down to juyeon's neck, leaving soft kisses on his tanned skin. his lips were so soft, juyeon couldn't resist letting out a moan or two, but he had to stop himself.

"hyunjae, the door-they'll find out." juyeon manages to speak in between his moans.

hyunjae stops, and sighs in disappointment. getting himself off of his boyfriend's lap.

"you're right, i am sorry about that." he apologises.

"no, don't apologise, i want it as much as you do but it isn't really the best place to uh- you know."

"you mean 'fuck the absolute shit out of each other'?"

juyeon laughs. "there you go."

hyunjae lays down on the bed and pulls juyeon beside him, resting his head on juyeon's chest. "so, what do you think?" he asked. "gotta say, hyunjae. your mom definitely doesn't look too bad for someone who's an alcoholic." hyunjae laughs and lightly smacks his boyfriend's chest. "no but in all seriousness, they look, or seem, so different. it's like they have different values than the people around them, different dreams, different priorities, i don't know how to explain it. you probably won't like hearing this, but they are you. you are them. you guys are seriously, so alike. it's scary. " juyeon says, slowly scratching and tracing different shapes and letters on his boyfriend's arm.

hyunjae sighs. "i know, i was escaping from them for so long. i dreaded being near them, but at the end of the day, they are my parents and i am their child. we're bound to be similar. "

"don't mind me saying this, hyunjae. but it looks like your parents really do care for you a lot, they just didn't know how to show it and ended up fucking it up. it's sad, really. i can tell they love you so much. the look in their eyes when they stare at you is something i longed for in my own parents, i unfortunately never got it, though. you know, having grown with terrible parents, that is, i never got to see what good parenting was like untill much later. alcohol is what ruined your parents, if you take it away from them, they'll probably be like any other parents with their own minor flaws. but my parents ruined themselves, they didn't have a source of object guiding them to destruction like yours did. "

"i tried taking alchohol away from them, i really did. it never worked out in the end so i just gave up."

"and i don't blame you for that, baby. you've done enough." he kisses hyunjae's forehead.

"juyeon?"

"yes, my love?"

"in what way am i similar to them?"

"i don't know, hyunjae. you tell me. is it the extrovert personality you have that is exactly like your mom? your face that is a carbon copy of your dad? the mysterious gaze and smile your dad lets out once in a while? the hearty laugh that you inherited from your mom? or the ability to charm anyone, which one do you think it is, hyunjae?"

"..."

"which of these do you think is gonna lead me to destroy myself for you? which of these do you think i fell for, knowing very well it was not going to be easy to love a man like you? which of these do you think gave me the courage to try?"

"tell me, hyunjae. which part of you do you think gave me the will to live?"