The Clockwork Heart

Chapter Thirty-Six: The Hatter's Nightmare

"Will you leave me one day?"

"Everyone parts way one day, Hatter. No one in the world can stay together forever. We're constantly growing and changing, so the only thing we can do is focus on the present and treasure our moments together."

"I don't want you to leave me, Liddell. I don't know what I'll do without you to guide me and teach me magic. I don't want to be alone."

"...I don't know what to tell you. I will have to go home one day, after the prophecy is fulfilled and the tyrant is defeated, because that is where I belong."

***

The Hatter heard voices. And then he realized his magic had failed. He was trying to enter the Rabbit's nightmare and help him get out, but because they were more estranged than the Hatter thought, the Rabbit's nightmare repelled him.

Instead, the Hatter ended up in his own nightmare, and he was trapped here. He cussed quietly and looked around.

He was once again in that alley, near that shack where the Rabbit and him and Liddell grew up. Liddell was standing on the roof of the shack, staring out into the sky and muttering something.

The Hatter suddenly became small again; he was a child again. He was running towards the shack, and calling out to Liddell. "What are you doing, Liddell? Where are you going?"

She invented a new spell, it turned out. She suddenly floated into the air, and floated higher and higher, and she disappeared into the clouds. The Hatter reached out towards her, but she was too far away.

The Hatter started to cry. "I don't want to be alone... I don't want to be alone..."

But he was alone.

And then he woke up. It was nighttime, and it was raining. The Hatter lied on the bed stilly, looking up at the ceiling, listening to the pitter-patter of rain on thin wood. The Rabbit was sleeping on the bed next to him. The shack was small, so space was cramped.

"What's wrong?" the Rabbit said slurredly.

The Hatter shook his head. That was such a peculiar dream, he thought. I have always been alone; every day the Rabbit leaves the shack, and I stay in the shack on my own. Sometimes I peer out into the streets from the alley, and look at the kids playing games on the streets. When they look towards me, I shrink back into the darkness.

The darkness is nothing to be afraid of.

Slowly, in the darkness, the Hatter drifted back to sleep.

***

It was the night before they crashed the castle.

The Hatter found Liddell sitting outside her tent, looking up at the sky. She held her knees to her chest and she was looking up at the moon. The Hatter approached and sat down beside her. They were silent for a while.

Suddenly, there came the whistling of an arrow as it broke through the air. The arrow pierced Liddell's chest, and she fell over onto the ground with a soft thud. Blood seeped out from the wound, forming a puddle beneath her. Her eyes became cloudy and unfocused, even as she continued to look towards the sky.

"Liddell!" the Hatter screamed. Then he woke up.

He was in the shack again, and he was very small again. He had screamed in his sleep and sat upright again. The Rabbit woke up drowsily beside him.

"What's wrong?"

"I have to check up on Liddell!" The Hatter dashed out the shack door and found Liddell in her usual spot in the back of the alley, covered in a blanket of books. She opened her eyes slowly when the Hatter approached.

"What's wrong?"

"I had a dream that you got hurt..." the Hatter paused and looked down. By this point, they had already found out about the prophecy and Liddell's destiny. "We were trying to defeat the castle, but then you got killed..."

Liddell nodded. Suddenly she shivered and drew the blanket of books closer to herself. It was late autumn, very cold, and even though she couldn't die, she still felt the chill of winter in her bones. Still spaced out, she drifted back into sleep.

The Hatter went back to the shack, still troubled. He couldn't fall asleep; but when dawn came, he passed out from exhaustion.

Then he woke up again.

This time, something was different.

He was very little; so little that he couldn't remember many memories from this time. Liddell had just arrived in their alley, and she was still small too. That night, he heard a faint sobbing. Careful to not wake the Rabbit, he left the shack to investigate.

Liddell was crying. She buried her face into her books as her shoulders trembled. He didn't know her name back then, but he approached her anyway.

"What's wrong?"

Liddell looked up. Her eyes were bloodshot. "I want to go home," she whispered. "Somebody make this stop. I just want to go home."

The Hatter thought about this for a while. Then, he gave her his tattered hat. "You can keep this, it'll keep you dryer when it rains. Don't worry, I have other hats."

Liddell took over the hat with shaking hands. Then she dropped it as she started to cry again.

Oh. That's right, the Hatter remembered. She was just a child, just like the Rabbit and I...