dear diary | minsung

56

7/12/2018

dear diary,
good day fellow homosexuals reading this (this is my diary and im the only one reading it but sUre). i loved my twice concerts i swear to god i will combust thinking about it, they were the best days of my life no shit, i waved to mother jihyo and she actually noticed me i swear i went nuts. felix was there, kinda quiet but so happy and vibing, he just kept thanking me for the end of it he's literally so sweet where does changbin find these guys (i have my love jisung i gotta chile.)

yess so i babysat a one year old, and it was a child i had no idea about bd seonghwa just left the child with me saying it was his brother's and he's busy so i need to take care of him. lovely. this mf seonghwa just kept the niño on the sofa like it's nobody's business and LEFT FOR IDK WHERE?! i was so concerned when i heard a baby crying in my sleep, my subconscious panicked thinking i have a child of my own. next time hwa does this he's out the dorm like a piece of garbage (i love him to death i would never)

now that we're here, i would just like to say how jihyo is so mother gOD. I LOVE HER. whoever doesn't love god jihyo needs therapy, well in fact i need therapy too but i worship jihyo so it isn't necessary.

n e gays we're already at the end of the fucking year excusee me? we're in 2019? i refuse to believe we're already almost in 2019. im so old help me, i graduate university in a year and i'll be going back to korea. i have really no idea what i want to do after university, i may open a dance academy or join a label as a choreographer. maybe i could either just become a sexy model, the sexiest model to ever exist and for people to simp over, make people fall for the amount of charisma i have.

ok im kidding i might just take a year break to focus on myself and what i want to do, might join an academy as a teacher. and also jisung and i have been talking more and more, becoming closer than ever i swear im going to explode at this point, i think he likes someone else that ISNT me, goodbye it feels terrible knowing that ugh. anyways it's ok i'll attempt and try more, that's all i can do. and now since it's finals im going to update next on christmas day so good fucking bye until then

- love, min <33 
 
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i just realized everyone in my family is straight and almost everyone is homophobic; im the only homosexual here.

it honestly hurts bc i don't think i'll ever come out to my family and if i do i most probably won't be accepted. my culture and bloodline is something so unique im afraid i won't be able to continue it. my family is something so unique but it hurts, hurts a lot because i know that once i come out (which i eventually will) the place i now currently call home and the people around me who i call family will just become memories in the past, buried in my heart.

my mental health has been really shitty lately

sorry for this long rant i just had to get it out :((