*as I slowly opened my eyes I was on top of Tom and was sitting right where his dick was as I tried to move back to get off he just started to groan while saying stuff* "oh shit just like that fuck." *i didn't mean to but I kinda liked it. As I moved forward and back he started breathing heavily and loudly* "juju fuck me like that please don't stop faster." *as he grabbed my ass causing me to move faster he started moaning* "hhh fuck mhhm yea just like that fuck u ride me so good Ohh- *as I started kissing his neck he said my name repeatedly* "oh juju juju don't stop don't stop fucking me like that shit FU- *as I could feel his dick cumming i moaned his name* "oh tom fuck me just like that" *i whispered in his ear making him feel my hot breath and started licking on it* "fuck." *as I get off him smirking and go to the bathroom to take a shower I take off my clothes and get in the shower*
(Time passed)
*i get out of the shower with a towel wrapped around my body and wet hair. I got my clothes and started changing when I felt toms hand on my waist while kissing my neck * "good morning baby" *he said hugging me tightly* "morning." "Why are u mad at me now?" "Tom I have a boyfriend and I'm sorry I really love u I like all of u I like ur dumb personality and I love ur smile ur body I like everything about u and ur the one who makes me smile in the morning and I know u probably hate me but I don't blame u." "Ur right I do." *he quickly packed his things and he put his shirt pants and shoes on and got out as he slammed my door* *i fell to the floor leaning on my wall grabbing my head tight looking down realizing that I'm the one who just ruins my own relationships. As I started to cry I didn't know hat to do anymore I love mason but I love Tom feeling confused and guilt I felt something stuck in my throat like I wanted to throw up and massive headaches. I ran to the bathroom while quickly kneeling down on the floor while throwing up blood. After I was done I flushed the toilet then looked in the mirror being super pale and my eyes were lightly red* *i didn't even care at this point I was just so tired of shit and just wanted to smoke outside so I did* (she also had an addiction two years ago it made all her pain go away but one time cigarettes weren't enough anymore so she attempted but thankfully didn't succeed) *i went downstairs until lee stopped me* "where u going?" "I don't know anymore." *i went outside and took out a cigarette to light it up while walking until I saw George toms bandmate(her ex)* "heyyy long time no see ju!" "Yea hey." "What's...wrong?" *i laughed knowing I couldn't tell him anything* "nothing here wishing I wasn't in this planet and thinking how not to" *i laughed so it would seem like I was being sarcastic while smoking* "juju... u know u shouldn't be smoking or joking about that please don't fall in an addiction again I was so worried about u that night at the hospital please." "George what do u want me to do I'm sick of this shit I have nothing to end the pain its better to feel nothing to feeling something." "Juju...what's going on please just talk to me u can trust me" *as he lifted my chin up feeling like I wanted to cry but nothing comes out* "I can't trust anyone anymore." *as I slightly took his hand off my chin walking back to the house thinking about how nice he was for someone who he had broken up with*
-to be continued
