T H I R T Y - N I N E

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How is it possible to have the urge to jump someone's bones but also want to rip their head off their shoulders? It's a juxtaposed

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How is it possible to have the urge to jump someone's bones but also want to rip their head off their shoulders? It's a juxtaposed. There are too many emotions in my head for a human to comprehend. The side effect of the two doses of cocaine also isn't helping — it's only building a better case on why I should ignore everything for the night and just him fuck him.

My arms tighten around his neck to secure myself from falling. His breath hitches. I think he likes how close we're in this current moment. Honestly, why did he bother coming here? I shake my head.

Julian will not ruin my high.

My head tilts upward to face the sky, admiring the hues colliding to form a masterpiece. Whirls of white clouds travel throughout the atmosphere, pushing and pulling on their friends — the stars. To my surprise, the moon shines vibrantly in a red tint, glowing like an emergency light. Eggplant purple and midnight blue merge for the sky to be a soothing scenery.

Beautiful for possibly my last night alive. 

"Where are we going?"

Julian straightens his spine. "I'm taking you home."

My eyebrows pinch together. "How do you know where I live?"

"The internet."

A sarcastic retort sows on my tongue. "How intrusive. I didn't know I had a little stalker to worry about."

For being a Jefe to one of the massive crime families, Dad loved advertising our household on all his social, as if we weren't being plotted against daily. Wouldn't it make more sense for our estate to be a secret from the public? I guess not.

His body vibrates as a chuckle shudders through him.

Julian pivot into my family's driveway, halting at our golden gates adorn with horses on the pillars. He tilts my body to reach the code system, and I plug in the number for the gates to open. As a child, one of the only joys I had in life was to watch the gates open at their leisurely speed and skip through like a princess.

Poking Julian's shoulder, I gesture for him to let me down, and the second he does, I jolt through the gates, my skirt drifting in the air. The night isn't over yet. My last free night isn't over until the fat lady sings. I'm going to do everything I set out to do tonight.

I lower to the flower pot beside my front door and seize the spare key in the dirt, unlocking the front door. Abuela left the house vacant for the night because she knew Lorenzo and I would return fucked-up. She probably also didn't want to hear us mess around under the bedsheets, but I guess she was worried about nothing.

Like the dramatic teenager I yearned to be, I collapse onto my couch with an audible sigh and close my eyes. Goddamit... I was really looking forward to being fucked until I couldn't walk anymore. Not like I had any faith in Jota or Lorenzo. Jota was an idiot, and Lorenzo expects something in return for a favor he offered-- like, is it hard to be a gentleman?

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