Sinner and a Savior

Ch. 7 - A Father's Responsibility

Life with a baby meant no sleeping in, despite being up until three in the morning dealing with Toji. Babies wait for no one. You woke up and quickly got right to your schedule. And, as planned, your outing for that afternoon was scheduled and approved by the Zenin clan. You could only hope they wouldn't have someone monitor you so that Toji could have time with his son. And you hoped you wouldn't regret all this in the long run. 

You found Toji right where you had planned to meet him, in front of the small market just a few minutes from the estate, right at the edge of town. He leaned against the building, one foot on the cement wall and a pair of dark sunglasses covering his eyes. His arms were tight against his chest and his head drooped down slightly. Was this man...sleeping?

"Toji?" You asked as you approached with Megumi against your hip in one arm and a picnic basket in the other. He was busy reaching up toward your sun hat as you stood before his father. The bottom of your sundress swayed delicately in the wind. "Toji, are you dozing off right now?" You chuckled and called out to him again, placing a gentle hand on his forearm to get his attention. 

He jolted awake, quickly pushing his sunglasses up into his hair. It was your first time seeing him in the sunlight, his deep, green eyes much more dazzling to look at in the afternoon light. Though, he did have very clear dark circles beneath them. He looked you up and down just once, his first time seeing you in casual day clothes. 

"Sorry, late night as you know," he rubbed his eyes with his fingers and stood away from the wall. You nodded in agreement. "Guess we should go in," he used his thumb to motion to the store entry behind him. 

"Yep!" You smiled at him, suddenly, but gently, shoving Megumi into his arms. "You're here to see Megumi, and see Megumi you shall."

"Yes, ma'am," he rolled his eyes and followed behind you into the store with Megumi in his arms. The two of them were certainly identical, there was no doubt he was Megumi's father. You somehow found yourself blushing when you looked back at the pair. 

The three of you went up and down each aisle. You held the basket while Toji kept care of the baby. You hadn't noticed, but plenty of eyes were on you with heartfelt looks on their faces. Oh to be a new family of three strolling through the grocery store... 

But Toji did notice and it made him feel a certain type of way. "Hey," he leaned down toward you as you pondered which brand of formula to get. "Are we almost done here?"

"Yes," you barely gave your attention, still reading the labels on the formula in front of you. "This is the last thing on the list." Toji audibly sighed before you continued. You snapped your head up in his direction, "do you recall what formula you fed him before handing him over to the Zenin's?"

He blinked hard for a moment. "Of course I don't," he gave you a funny look, "I just grabbed whatever was available."

"Father of the year," you sighed in disappointment and ended up making the best decision you could. "If you're going to put my life at risk to see your son, you're going to start learning today." You held the box of formula you had chosen in front of him, Meiji Hohoemi. "This one's good for neural development, it'll help give him a good memory," you smiled and winked. It was the same formula you had used for Tsumiki. 

"Uh...huh," he nodded with a bit of hesitance. It was clear he had a tough exterior about him, but you were determined to break it. If he wanted to be a father, you were going to make him one...to Megumi!

From there, the three of you checked out and went on your way toward the park.
It wasn't a long walk from where you were. When you reached the spot, the park was just starting to get crowded for sakura viewing. Luckily, you were able to find a good spot to lay the blanket down. 
Trees of pink and white surrounded you and the nearby river provided nice ambience besides the nearby chatter of others. The clouds were scarce but still provided enough shade with the trees. With the current temperature, it was sure to be a beautiful afternoon for a picnic. 

"Here," you put the basket down and reached out your arms for Megumi. "Give me him. Can you set up the blanket, please?" You asked as Toji set Megumi in your arms, you carefully cradled his head in the exchange and rested him on your hip again. Toji audibly sighed at the chore you gave him. "I don't want to hear it, Fushiguro. You signed up for this." He glared at you as he grabbed the blanket from the basket.
You figured you could afford to give him a bit of sass now and then. You were doing him a favor after all. This was much more than just staring at Megumi in his crib in the middle of the night.

He took a few steps away from you, looking behind him to carefully not back into the other people who were setting up nearby. He took the corners of the blanket and fanned it out, letting the wind carry it so that it laid perfectly on the dewy grass. 

You kept things simple and packed small bento boxes. You did, however, splurge on your way to meet Toji and picked up hanami dango. With the blanket down and the three of you seated, Megumi held up by a boppy, you passed out the lunches. 

Toji didn't hesitate to chow down, aggressively picking at the meal with his chopsticks like some kind of animal. You watched in a bit of disgust, holding your meal and chopsticks with quite the frown on your face. When he noticed you weren't eating, he paused with a bit of rice on his lip.

"So..." he swallowed his current bite, "you have a daughter, huh?" 

You finished your look of disgust with a squinted look at his sudden question, "yes."

"How old?" He continued, shoveling another bite into his mouth. 

"Nearly two," you answered, finally allowing yourself to eat. Megumi was busy with a teething ring as if he had any teeth yet ready to push through gums, ignoring all of the problems of the world as an infant should. You sighed as memories flashed through your mind. 

"So if she's that young, what are you doing serving a family of pricks?" He asked bluntly, now finished with his lunch and starting on one of the dango. You bit your cheek at this question, not really wanting to think about it anymore.

"I'm trying to raise money to be on my own," you rested your bento on your lap in a bit of defeat. "Tsumiki...my daughter, her father is unfaithful and becoming quite...different than before she came along."

"Ah," Toji nodded with a gob of the dango in his mouth, "an asshole, got it."

"That's a short way to put it, but I'm hoping after helping out here I can afford a place by myself and have enough leftover to raise Tsumiki until she's ready to start preschool." You sounded a bit brighter discussing this. You had high hopes for your future with your daughter.

"And the asshole is currently raising your daughter," Toji pointed out, pulling the last bit of dango from its stick between his teeth, "does he know you're doing this to leave him?"

"Not sure, I think so..." you pondered for a moment, "he knows that I know he's cheating, so I wouldn't put it behind him. But he's at least not a bad dad."

"Ooo," Toji put a hand to his chest, "right where it hurts!" He laughed as you pouted to hide a smile.

"You're not a bad dad," you mumbled and took another bite of your bento. "You're doing your best in your situation."

"Yeah, well, I didn't have to be a killer," he didn't care to keep his volume down. He laid back, propped up by his palms as he looked up at the pink trees. "Or, at least, I should've stopped as soon as he was born. But I didn't. Does that sound like a good dad to you?" You stayed silent, not wanting to answer and also not knowing if he was being rhetorical.

"It's not too late..." you mumbled again. Toji stayed quiet and took a deep breath of fresh air. You felt like you already knew his response.