Sinner and a Savior

Ch. 17 - A Father's Conflict

After your brief rendezvous, Toji left and headed back to his usual haunts, going 'home' to the love hotel he called such for some rest. The entire way back, surrounded by neon lights mixed with drunkards and those who just couldn't make it to a love hotel before finding a way into one another's pants, Toji grimaced at the feelings that had suddenly begun to take up space in his chest.

He had made a promise to Megumi's mother, the woman he truly loved. To have any sort of feelings for you harbored in his chest was unacceptable to him. For now, all he could do was shake off his thoughts in an attempt to get some sleep that night.

As soon as he made it to the hotel, he immediately fell back on the bed, neglecting any sort of nightly routine. He was mentally and emotionally exhausted, something he hadn't felt for quite some time. For so long, after Megumi's mother's death, he found himself almost in a state of...peace. He was happy with killing. He loved the challenges he faced but then you had to come in and distract him and make him double think his life for the sake of his son...for the sake of you.

Toji laid on the bed, staring at the ceiling as conflicting emotions raged within him. He couldn't deny that he felt a pull towards you, a connection that went beyond mere physical attraction. Your kindness and understanding had touched a part of him that he had long buried beneath his tough exterior.
As he closed his eyes, Toji made a silent promise to himself. He would distance himself from you, protect you from the darkness that threatened to consume him, and focus on his mission to keep Megumi safe -- that was something you could do for Megumi. It was the only way he could honor the commitment he had made to the woman he truly loved, even if it meant denying his own heart.

Meanwhile, you were left in your own state of uncertainty and hope. The idea of changing a man like Toji seemed like a daunting challenge, but something deep inside you refused to let go of the connection you had felt. Little did you know the internal battle that raged within him.

You had once again returned to your routine with Megumi, this time around it was a joy. You had Tsumiki with you, safe and sound. Naobito and the rest of the Zenin clan commended you for your hard work surprisingly enough, but it was likely due to the sudden sense of calm that had overcome the estate since Toji's disappearance...

Toji had gone. He had stopped his nightly visits. You hadn't seen him for weeks. That last night was such bliss and you thought that it had changed something within the two of you. For some reason, stupid, little you had hope that he'd return and you could somehow find a work around for a relationship -- something you had finally admitted to yourself that you wanted, even if it was with the infamous "Sorcerer Killer."

Those weeks and months had quickly turned into years in a slowly shocking turn. You watched painfully as Megumi continued to grow without his father present. You had watched so many of his milestones without Toji, something you had wanted him to see. It was as if Toji had become a shadow in your life. The feelings you harbored, you swallowed them up and continued on as if nothing had happened.

Your original plan had been to take care of Megumi until Tsumiki was of school age so that you could move you and your daughter into your own apartment and you could get a different, 'safer' job. But with the Zenins treating you kindly thanks to Toji's intervention those years ago, you decided to stay. You had grown close to Megumi as did he, he often regarded Tsumiki as his own sister. You couldn't just leave the boy behind not knowing how the Zenins would treat him should you leave.

June, 2006

"Y/N," one of the fellow attendants came to you during your afternoon chores, laundry again out in the courtyard, giving a light bow in greeting before revealing their concerned face.

"Hello," you nodded, pondering their expression instead of returning the bow.

"Naobito-sama would like to see you. It seems some...visitors of the governmental kind have arrived," they muttered, eyes flickering to the side where behind them was the entrance to the main part of the estate.

"Governmental kind?" You mumbled to yourself, furrowing your brow in a continued state of confusion. 

You made your way to the main room, Naobito on his zabuton with a stern look on his face. Next to him looked a pair of very official-looking people dressed in suits. It was an intimidating sight. What was even more shocking was the sight of your ex-husband, looking fully healthy and recovered with a tight, angry frown on his face. 

Despite your irritation upon seeing him, you still bowed in front of Naobito and waited for him to proceed.

"Y/N L/N," one of the officials said instead, taking a step toward you. They held out a set of folded papers that you hesitantly took. "These are for you, a custody agreement."

"Custody agreement?" You shook your head and looked between the official and your ex-husband. "But we sorted everything out three years ago, Masaru is unfit for any sort of custody."

Masaru scoffed, "I've gotten myself together, Y/N. And let's just say the environment you have Tsumiki in isn't necessarily a safe one, being surrounded by all of these...violent...sorcerers."

You were taken aback. "You can't do this," you shook your head again, this time with a bit more aggression. "I've done an excellent job mothering Tsumiki and Megumi here. You can't take my daughter away from me."

"I can, and I will," Masaru hissed, leaning toward you with a malevolent grin. 

"For now, it's been agreed that Tsumiki will be put into the care of Masaru's parents until the custody agreement can be resorted," the official declared.

"Agreed?!" You rolled your eyes and raised your voice, ignoring the fact that Naobito was watching the entire thing unfold. "I didn't agree to anything!"

"You don't need to," the official answered.

There was no arguing. You walked to Megumi and Tsumiki's room to begin packing her things. The officials who had arrived with Masaru followed you, watching your every movement as you stuffed her things into bags for them to take. You did your best to hold back your tears in an attempt to be strong for her as she looked on your packing.

"Mommy," her little voice murmured as she stood at the center of the room with little Megumi standing at her side, his expression flat but his hand nervously holding Tsumiki's. At this point she was four years old, Megumi three. You had no idea where the time had gone. "Are we going somewhere?"

You looked up at her and gave a weak smile, eyes glossed over. "You're going to stay with your Oji and Oba-san," you let her know. "Only for a little while while Mommy and Daddy figure things out." 

She nodded quietly and continued to watch on. It felt as though your life was falling apart all over again.

Things fell incredibly silent as soon as they left, Megumi staring up at you, now alone in the emptier room. He blinked silently with his still flat expression as he, too, adjusted to being an 'only child' again.

"It'll be okay, Ne-san," he said plainly before returning to his toys that were on the floor; Tsumiki's all picked up at this point. 

You watched as he quietly played by himself, your heart snapping in two. You decided you needed to get out of there. You needed some time to yourself.
You reached out to one of the attendants to look after Megumi while you made your escape.