Sinner and a Savior

Ch. 16 - A Mother's Hypocrisy

You took the train immediately home with Tsumiki, leaving Toji behind. He was an adult, he could fend for himself. But Masaru, what had he done with Masaru? Your consistently racing mind would not stop. You let out your nerves by tapping your foot repeatedly against the train floor.

You tried to keep your mind occupied as you went about the rest of the evening. Because of how "helpful" the Zenins wanted to be, they saw no problem with allowing you to watch over Tsumiki -- so long as it didn't interfere with your care of Megumi. 
As support, they gave you a futon to put in Megumi's room where the two could stay together as you tended to them. You felt much more at ease with Tsumiki in your care. The legal stuff could be dealt with later, you knew it would be no problem.

When evening rolled around, you tucked Tsumiki into the futon on the floor and placed Megumi in his crib. The two of them were completely tuckered out from a day's worth of activity. You, too, felt incredibly fatigued; your worry not letting up from earlier that afternoon.

When you went to your own bedroom, sleepily turning your doorknob and entering a dark room, you found Toji's silhouette standing in the moonlight from the only window in the room.

"Toji," you mumbled, standing straighter upon seeing him. You looked him up and down, eyes settling specifically on his hands.

"I didn't kill him," he spoke up, noticing your eyes, terrified, and staring at the very hands that claimed the lives of so many others. "I don't think he's going to bother you about taking care of Tsumiki any longer. I called an ambulance before I left, so he's probably at the hospital right now."

You breathed a sigh of relief. Getting beaten was still incredibly horrible, but you were satisfied that Toji hadn't killed your husband...ex-husband.

With such sudden relief, you did the only thing you could think of. You flocked to Toji, wrapping your arms around the back of his neck. His large arms caught you mid-flight as your lips locked against his, a sudden but welcomed affection.
Your hands then moved, pressed against his cheek with your fingers entangling into his hair as you pressed him as close as you could.

You could feel his hands slightly trembling as he held your waist, a certain hesitance you hadn't felt from him before. It didn't help that he was caught off guard by your actions.

"Y/N," he started as you pulled away for a breath, a lustful look in your eyes. Something ached in his chest, he didn't want you to be like the others. But he knew what he was and was afraid of his inability to change. He had to stop things before they went too far. "We shouldn't do this."

You slightly furrowed your brow as he let you down, your arms falling back to your sides, dejected. "What about last time? You had no problem relieving me then."

He stared at you silently for a moment, eyes flickering between yours with a tight frown. "We shouldn't...continue this...affair. I'm not someone you should be associating yourself with."

You rolled your eyes in a bit of disbelief, a playful curve to your lips. "That didn't stop you from barging your way into my life before. And it certainly didn't stop you that night those months ago."

He again paused in silence for a moment. He detested being this vulnerable. He was cold, calculating. This lovey-dovey stuff was nothing he knew about, or at least he tried to forget what he had become when with Megumi's mother. It was safe to say you had changed everything and that scared him. "I don't want to hurt you, Y/N. You deserve more than what I can give."

You took a deep breath, realizing where Toji was coming from. Your face relaxed, a soft smile falling onto your face. You stepped forward against him again, slowly and gently tiptoeing to reach his lips to give them a soft peck. Your hands again came up to the sides of his face, this time gently.
He allowed this, closing his eyes and letting the kiss linger on. The vulnerability he felt was something he had forgotten since Megumi's mother's death. It was something he longed to forget, thinking that she could never be replaced. And she couldn't. But you were...something new...bringing the same sort of feelings from him, something he never thought possible again for his life.