Seventeen ships

Fighting, Hurt, Regret, Forgiveness (Verkwan)

~Fighting~

We fight so much. It's like once we hit 10 months into our relationship we started fighting. We'd say things we both knew we didn't mean. But we were just to mad to realize.

Our fighting would last pretty long. It could go on for days. Weeks even. But most of the time we'd fight over stupid things. And we are both stubborn so it's harder to solve problems.

But sometimes the fights became to much. We'd end up regretting what we said then apologize. But this time it was just to much. He had thought I had cheated on him.

I guess he found messages of me and and my ex. But we friends why am I not aloud to text him? But I was also wrong I also accused him of cheating. He was texting a girl in his class.

We were both so angry that we fought so much that he left the apartment. When he came back he was still mad so he just slept on the couch for the night I was hurt because he never done this before but I understand.

~Hurt~

Me and Vernon have not fought in about three weeks. It's a record. But he has been a bit distance. It hurts. I love him but every time I try to kiss or hug him he pushes me away.

I just excuse it as tiredness we have exams the past week. So we're both tired but I'm still tired. He kinda makes me feel useless. But when he's around our friends he's more energetic.

It hurts. Am I enough for him? Or are we just meant to spilt. Should we keep going like this? We should end it right? I think it's a good idea. As I walk into school I spot Vernon.

So I walk up to him. "Hey Vernon can we talk?" I ask. "Seungkwan me and mingyu were about to go eat can it wait?" He asks. Of course friends over me. "No it can't wait."

I say and he sighs. "Sure, mingyu I'll be back wait for me." Vernon says and mingyu nods. As we get somewhere more private I sigh. "What is it seungkwan?" He asks.

"Let's breakup." I say wanting to get it over with. "Okay fine let's end it." Once he says that my heart breaks. How could he just agree like that? But I ignore it.

"Have a good day Vernon." I say as tears fall down. "Also I'll be moving out tomorrow." I say and he nods. "You have a key right?" He asks and I just nod and walk away.

~Regret~

It's been two weeks since me and seungkwan broke up. My heart broke once he said that but I knew if I just agree it'll be better. We fight so much it's bound to happen.

Yeah most couples work it out but we have done it so much times. I miss him and will always miss him but maybe a break can bring us closer together? Right?

Or maybe I watch to much movies. But I miss him already. The love of my life broke up with me but saying it as if I didn't care will help him get over me faster.

Maybe I'm being dumb but I know he'll be better of without me. I just hope that I'm not marking the wrong choice. I just hope he'll forget about me. I'm not good enough for him.

I was selfish. Keeping him to myself. I was wrong. Accusing him of cheating. Kwan would never. But me saying that I know it broke him. I know I was an asshole so maybe he'll be better of without me.

~Forgiveness~

I don't care if I'm selfish. If it means loving seungkwan and him being only mines then I don't care. I love him to much to just give him up. It's been three weeks.

I can't lose him. If I don't get him now someone might take him. So I'm outside Joshua and dls apartment. I then knock and de answers. "Ha sol what are you here?"

"Can I talk to seungkwan?" I ask a bit panicked. "First calm down and yeah I'll call him." He says and I nod hoping no one has stolen him from me yet.

"W-why are you here." Once I see him I relax and hug him like my life depended on it. "Kwan can we talk?" I ask hoping he agrees. "Sure." He says and we walk to a park.

By this time it's already 10 pm. "What Vernon?" He asks. "I'm sorry Kwan, we were fighting so much, I hurt you, I couldn't live myself knowing I hurt you."

"So hearing you say let's break up I knew you'd be happier without me, I was an asshole and grow distance, I knew I hurt you so why would I just be okay with that?"

"Kwan you'd be better off without me, I was selfish for keeping you, I'm not enough for you, but I don't care if I'm selfish anymore, if it means having by you with me,"

"Then I don't care about being selfish and I'm just not realizing that, I love you more then you think, and I always will Kwan, and I'm so sorry," I say and just fully break down.

"You are enough and I was the selfish one, you deserve better then me, but I'm also selfish but if it's for you I don't care, I love you hansol and on one can change that."

"Not even you, I love you more then you know so don't ever think your not enough for me." Seungkwan says and hugs me. I don't deserve him but I love him and it will never change.

It's been two months since we got back together. I'm happy. We're happy at least we're happy, nothing will mess this up, we will figure it out together, I love him to much to lose him.

~~~~~~~~~
It's short a bit boring but it's verkwan so I don't mind.