The Story of Emmaline Seigas

Listen to Me and Understand

Pain. Searing, excruciating pain. It blocked out everything else, swallowed me up in its black wave. Pain that swept over me like a tsunami, dragging me down into the depths of my psyche. Trust me, the depths of your psyche is not a place you wish to visit, willingly or not. All the thoughts or feelings you've ever had are jumbled up there. Fused into one huge monster that roars so loud you can hear nothing else. Not even the screaming pain.

But the pain is what brought you down there, down into the place where nothing makes sense anymore. Down, down, until you can't tell reality from anything else. Can't even tell if there is reality anymore. Because it's all pain. Everything is pain. But the pain isn't where the story starts, no. Quite the opposite, really. This story starts in laughter on a sunny day with a group of friends who swore never to forget each other. And while I'm here, drowning in pain, I might as well tell you about it. The invisible audience my mind has created for me. Or maybe you're real. I don't know, and it doesn't really matter. As long as you're willing to listen to my story.

It was summer, of course. No one could be this happy with the threat of school hanging over their head, no matter where they were. I happened to be at the smallest cafe in the busiest town in the U.S. At least, I think it's the busiest. But that's only because I've never seen anywhere else. I don't even really want to. I know most people are dying to get out of their birth places, but I live in New York. Everyday I'm in this place I see something new. Something exciting, something that makes me want to run up to my parents and thank them a million times for deciding to move here. Am I still in New York? I don't know where they took me.....

We were sitting at our usual table. In the corner of the cafe. Laughing, talking. Peaceful and happy. How I wish that was the beginning and the end of the story. A group of friends, having fun. Me, Bailey, Bryce and Caleb talking about things no one else would understand. But you don't want to hear about that. It's not exciting, or interesting. It's a normal day in a normal life and my situation is anything but normal. So perhaps we will skip ahead a little. Or maybe you do want to hear it. Maybe you do want a sneak peak into what I was like.

"Emmmmmmmm, you seriously need to get yourself a boyfriend!" Bailey whined, turning to me. I made a face at her, half smiling as I did so.

"You only say that because you have a new one every week," I responded, reaching forward to tug on her neon green bangs. Bailey was always dyeing her hair insane colors.

"It's true. If I ever have to remember how long ago something was, I just count your ex's," Bryce joined in. He grinned cheekily at Bailey, brushing sandy hair out of his eyes. Bailey glared back before sending a despairing look at Caleb.

"Hey, you're on my side, right?" Bailey asked hopefully. Caleb looked up at the group, confusion in his dark eyes. He was always drifting off into his own little world, which usually meant he missed out on all our arguments. We had a lot of arguments.

"Wait, what am I on your side about?" Caleb asked, blinking. We all just grinned, brushing it off as typical Caleb behavior.

"That Em should get a boyfriend!" Bailey exclaimed, stabbing at me with her finger. I proceeded to roll my eyes, as usual. Caleb looked a little uncomfortable, but I assumed it was nothing. After all, he was the one we had known for the least amount of time. Only five years. Okay, to other people that may sound like a lot. But trust me, it really wasn't! I mean, I'd known Bailey my entire life and we met Bryce in kindergarten. So five years was child's play.

"Is there someone you like?" Caleb directed his question at me, choosing to ignore Bailey's pouting face.

"Nah, not really." I took a slurp of my latte, hiding the smirk at Bailey's now outraged expression. She hated it that I never got smitten over guys.

"Well then, I think Em is fine without a guy," Caleb informed the rest of the table. Bryce chuckled and leaned over the table to pat Bailey's shoulder.

"Looks like you lost this round," Bryce joked. He was an oddity at our little table. Sandy hair, blue eyes, football player. Not the type you'd think would hang out with this kind of group. The rest of us were kind of weird, and Bryce was more the stereotypical jock.

"Oh, shut it, Barter!" Bailey grumbled, calling Bryce by his last name. She grabbed her mug of tea and took a meditative sip. It was decaf, of course. I'd only seen Bailey drink caffeine once and it wasn't an experience I wanted to repeat.

"After you, Lalonde," Bryce retorted. I grinned into my mug, sharing a look with Caleb. We had long since agreed that Bailey and Bryce looked cute together. Of course, the two would kill us if we mentioned it. Still. I liked the way their names sounded together. Bailey and Bryce. Bailey Lalonde and Bryce Barter. Bailey Barter. To me it just sounded right, and always had. Not that they would ever even consider going out with each other. Bryce was the serious, commitment type. Bailey was, as previously mentioned, the different boyfriend every week type.

"You're a meathead," Bailey glared at Bryce. She sat up straight, prepared for a full out war. Bryce grinned, shifting in his seat so he was leaning forward and staring at Bailey.

"Flighty broad." I just shook my head and grinned. After a minute of watching them trade insults I stood, grabbing my jacket off the back of the chair. Caleb glanced up at me, confused. I never left in the middle of a fight.

"My mom's expecting me for dinner," I explained briefly.

"I'd come with you, but Bryce is my ride and it looks like he'll be occupied for a while," Caleb replied. I nodded and waved goodbye.

"Tell the lovebirds I said goodbye. See ya later," I turned towards the entrance of the cafe, slipping on my jacket. I pushed open the door and shivered as a huts of cold air whipped my face.

How I wish I had simply stayed in the warm little cafe. I wish I had watched as two of my best friends fought and laughed at them with the other. I wish I hadn't started walking home. Because that was the night everything changed. The night where the horror of this tale starts, although you won't realize why until later. But if I hadn't left that night, surely I would've met my fate some other time? Was it completely impossible for me to avoid the horrible events?

But why should I bother pondering these things? I can't go back and change it. What happened, happened and now the only thing left for me is to tell you. Come back soon. Don't leave me all alone in my pain. Please. I do not deserve it, but this simple kindness is the one thing I ask from you. That, and listening to my story. So please, don't leave me alone in the darkness.