Breathing Ashes

Chapter 3 - No Way Home

Author's Note: It gets worse before it gets better.

Warnings: Abusive relationships though maybe a tiny bit better than before, and attempted suicide

~ Tirana Sorki

He knew returning to the Temple would be painful, but this is more than he expected. He remembers with glaring clarity when he was last here with Yoda and saw this place in ruins, with the blaster marks marring the walls and the bodies everywhere. The remains of what he once considered his family.

That was only ever Anakin though. Anakin was his brother and his son; Anakin meant everything to him, and that didn't stop him from betraying him. Seeing this stokes his still simmering anger, but he tamps down on it. It's not what Anakin needs to see right now.

Obi-Wan doesn't know why he expected Anakin's quarters to be any different than this. They're small, all things considered, though certainly no smaller than what they used to have. The mechanical chaos everywhere is the telltale markings of how this is Anakin, though it feels so much darker than it used to be. Obi-Wan also has the strong suspicion that these machine parts serve a very different purpose. He has a bacta tank, of course, and that's about it.

"Do you even sleep?" he finds himself asking incredulously, if only to distract himself from the emotions crushing him.

"On occasion," he answers, which is not at all reassuring.

Shoved off in a far corner, mostly concealed from sight, is... it's more the faint lingering traces of how Anakin once felt in the Force that draws him to it. They're his robes. And... "Your robes were never that light," he says, before it finally dawns on him.

Yes. Of course.

"Those are mine, aren't they?" Perhaps, in truth, Anakin missed Obi-Wan as much as Obi-Wan did him.

Anakin shifts slightly, looking away. He's not really looking at anything, actually. "Yes."

He wishes he understood Anakin better. In truth, he doesn't and never has, for all that he has tried. It's oddly touching to see that – even after everything – there is still a part of Anakin that cares for him – for them.

He glances up at him, and their height difference catches him off-guard – he's been with Anakin for almost a full day (it's surreal to be with him again), and Obi-Wan still hasn't adjusted to his new height. Sidious must have done it, because he never used to be this tall. (Technically, a little voice in his mind reminds, you did it.)

And again, Obi-Wan finds himself opting not to mention it, because he doesn't know how to approach it.

Obi-Wan considers it for a moment, before unclipping Anakin's lightsaber from his belt, holding it out to him. "I believe I can trust you with this," he says, evenly.

He looks down at it, almost uncertainly. "I serve only you, Master."

"You are not serving me, Anakin. You're my apprentice. There's a difference." What has Sidious taught him? Other than to be his slave?

"The apprentice does all that the master wills," he replies – repeating what he's been told, over and over.

"Perhaps, but my role is to teach you. A Sith apprentice may different than a padawan, but it's not..." he sighs, quietly. "We can discuss this another time. Here."

Anakin takes the lightsaber, returning it to its place on his belt.

"You should go," he says, gently. It's not easy, but he can tell how being here is hurting Anakin as well.