HeaL Me...( A STORY ABOUT ADDICTION AND SALVATION)

CHAPTER 4-- " Under The TraP "

Chapter 4

Under The TraP

"We love the things that destroy us, because in that destruction we truly feel alive."

―Robert Pobi,Bloodman

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Lan Wangji lay in his bed staring at the ceiling. He skipped out on the last couple of class periods due to the depression that seeped slowly into him throughout the remainder of the day. Seeing Wei Ying hurt had jarred him. Wangji wondered how long his hate for himself would last or how long he would love Wei Ying. Because at this point, one was synonymous with the other.

The constant twingle of Wangji's phone text alert chimed into the silence that Wangji craved once his head hit the pillow. Cheng Liu was persistent if nothing else. Wangji didn't feel like making excuses to ward off her advances tonight. The girl was grating on his last nerve the last few days. When a boy takes a girl's hand from his crotch area, one would think she'd get the hint. Of course, Cheng Liu thought it was because they were in the university library and others may see.

Wangji felt his stomach turn at feeling violated by Cheng Liu's hands. He remembered her trying to be seductive but only failed miserably by her choice of words. "I can do things for you that Wei Ying never would or could."

First, Lan Zhan dared Liu to mention Wei Ying at all with a less than pleasing pouty expression. Secondly, Liu had no clue at all how to be half the lover that Wei Wuxian was to him.

Wangji and Wei Ying had only been together a few times. However, those few times sparked so much in them both. Being each other's first heightened their adventure as lovers. He wasn't going there with Cheng Liu ever. The sooner she got the hint, the better they both would be.

Carmen stuck her head into Wangji's bedroom door. "Wangji, Cheng Liu is wanting to come up." She walked in with a huge smile. "But I wanted to talk to you first."

Wangji sat up on his bed. "Liu?"

Before he could finish asking, Carmen flashed her hand in front of Wangji's face. "Jack asked me to marry him." She said excitedly. "I said Yes."

"Congratulations, Mom." Wangji pulled Carmen into an embrace. "I'm glad you're happy."

"I am." Carmen pulled back from Wangji's hug. She pushed a few tendrils of hair behind his ear. "Are you happy, Wangji? I mean ....with Liu?"

Carmen looked confused at her son. Wangji stared at her without an answer.

"Wei Ying seemed to make you so happy. He was always the one you seemed to have a crush on even before..." She hesitated at her thoughts of using the words 'before house arrest'. Before a long time, when everything was all sunshine. And Wei Ying was his only galaxy.

"I thought you two would get serious."

Wangji exhaled as he sat up straighter. "We were serious." He didn't feel like his mother needed to know how serious because it hurt to even mention their relationship had progressed into intimacy before his world fell apart. "Wei Ying needs to move on from my life, Mom. Liu...well...she takes me with all my flaws. No questions asked."

"I guess it is easier to have a girlfriend that doesn't pressure you about things. But Wangji, it's not your fault that you were taken and entrapped in a mansion, living a lonely life without friends or acquaintances. Not your fault that you don't prefer people anymore now. It's them who made you like this. Their fault. Whatever happened, none was your fault. It was unfortunate and an accident. You are not responsible, my son. Just because Liu was there in that moment and the worst moment of your life may have been shared with her, that doesn't equate love or happiness. It only equates to a shared drama. Nothing else. It doesn't make her understand you more." Carmen breathed out a long sigh. "I only want to see you happy. If that means Liu, fine. But if this is just settling, don't do that. I want you to get the happiness you deserve."