HeaL Me...( A STORY ABOUT ADDICTION AND SALVATION)

CHAPTER 6 " Drowning into Darkness "...

Chapter 6

Drowning into Darkness

"Imagine trying to live without air.

Now imagine something worse."

―Amy Reed,Clean

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The sheets that wrapped around Lan Wangji were drenched in his sweat. He had not taken the pills that allowed the pleasure of sleeping without nightmares of haunting memories of the past. His hands pulled frantically at the area around his neck. His breathing was rapid as his lungs expanded painfully. He felt like he was being choked to death slowly.

Wangji knew it was only the nightmare that had caused him to sit up startled from an already restless sleep. The nightmare that was also causing him to feel his neck being squeezed to the edge of death. His hands shook as they grasped at something not even there. His haziness finally dissipated when he realised there was no rope tied around his neck. His body shook involuntarily as he remembered his dad's cold eyes staring back at him.

His nightmare of his dad's unnatural death had stopped a few years ago after therapy while he was living with his Uncle. Those nightmares came back when he was caught in the fire to see his grandmother burn to her death.

Lan Wangji wondered if his father's eyes held the same vacantness that his grandmother's eyes held when she met her own death.

He glanced at the clock realising it was way too late to call Wei Ying.

Wei was his calming factor even if he didn't tell him the real issues he was dealing with. Just hearing Wei Ying's voice caused him peace.

He had avoided Liu most of the day, claiming he was still sick. She hadn't been that difficult to avoid.

And Lan Wangji detested her company.

If only he had not made the mistake of accepting her proposal.

Liu seemed angry over something and Lan Wangji wasn't in the mood to coddle her to find out what that was. Besides, he was going to ask Wei's advice on how to break up with her. Not that Wei was the one he should ask an opinion on that matter with. However, he was his only friend and confidante who would understand him and his dilemma and not shy away from him like his other childhood buddies because their parents refused to let them near him.

However, deep down, Wangji wanted Wei Ying to know his true feelings about Chen Liu.

He wanted to tell Wei that there were no romantic feelings for Liu as Wei Ying had suggested and Wangji had tried his hardest to conjure up. They were just not there to be forced forward. They never were. It was a huge mistake for him to even try to make something out of nothing. Realising this was also a realisation that leading Liu on was only going to make matters worse. However, he had never broken up with a girl because he had never dated anyone in the first place.

Wei Ying was the only exception. He was the only one to date him besides Liu.

Wei Ying did the breaking up, which broke his heart. He wanted to try to avoid Liu as much as possible. Maybe Wei Ying knew how to do that, since he avoided Wangji so earnestly.

Lan Wangji left a sigh as his eyes glimmered with fresh tears.

He decided maybe watching something on Netfix or surfing the internet would take his mind from the nightmare that was tormenting him. He pulled open his laptop and began searching through movies. Nothing seemed interesting. Then he pulled up the internet trying desperately to find anything to take his mind off of that horrible night he lost his everything .