i hate you | l.h

fifteen

mornings were always quiet at home. growing up as an only child, i grew accustomed to the silence that settled throughout the house in the early hours since my mom got stuck with the late shifts at the hospital.

now that i thought about it, it was always quiet. i didn't grow up with the little sister or the older brother that i had to take care of or fight over who got the last slice of pizza. i would always find myself at home by myself for dinner, waiting for my mom to rush through the door with an excuse about why she was late but she usually never did.

i loved my mom to death and was grateful for everything she did but sometimes, i wished she would try to at least make a better effort to include herself in my everyday life.

i didn't grow up leaving my tooth under the pillow for the tooth fairy because my mom would forget to leave a spare bill underneath, and certainly never believed in santa or the easter bunny.

my dad left us when i was extremely young so whenever people would cast a look of pity at me when they found out, i brushed it off easily. my mom, not so much. i learned not to mention him anymore when i saw how tense she became whenever his name popped up during conversation.

curled up on our couch with a bowl of cereal, i aimlessly switched through channels to find something remotely interesting that would take my mind off of the cast list being posted today.

my nerves had been building and building over the past few days and today was the day that i would find out my fate.

maybe i was being overdramatic, but that's how i felt. my impending doom was going to be posted on a sheet of paper.

glancing up at the clock that was hung up on the wall beside me, i took a quick look at the time and let out a stream of curses when i saw i was late for school.

"shit, shit, shit." i said out loud as i quickly tossed my bowl into the growing pile of dirty dishes in the sink.

i had already missed the bus and molly couldn't give me a ride today because she went with michael so i was screwed.

i pulled my phone out of my pocket to scroll through my contacts to call somebody for a ride to school and my finger paused above his name. slowly, i exited out of his contact and scrolled down to somebody else's name to press call.

holding my phone up to my ear, i sucked in a breath hoping they would answer in time so i wouldn't have to endure another detention for being late.

"hey, listen, i missed the bus and-"

"on my way."

-

"you owe me," luke said, turning around to see if anybody was driving behind us and then started to back up out of my driveway.

i slumped down in the seat and let out a groan. "shut up,"

"is this how you treat all your chauffeurs?" he said with a grin, leaning back against his seat.

my eyes followed the familiar empty street, the rutted asphalt, and the looming trees that zoomed past as he drove. "no, just you."

"that's good to know, i feel special." he smirked, "so how come your boyfriend couldn't pick you up?"

"busy. can you just not talk shit about him for one car ride? i thought you guys were supposed to be best friends." i commented, my voice strained, not in the mood to hear his snide comments.

luke seemed surprised at my reaction and was quiet momentarily, "an honest best friend is better than a nice best friend," he eventually said, his eyes glancing up at the stoplight.