i hate you | l.h

twenty three

i was only half listening as miss miller was strutting around the harshly lit stage, waving around her clipboard with one ink smudged hand. "there are only two more weeks until the opening night of this musical! two!"

i slouched back against my seat, relieved at the chance to take my mind off of things through rehearsal, where my biggest problem was how loud i was projecting my lines. we were fortunate enough to have an insane large amount of funds for our theatre department, giving us rows of seats-and not the cheap plastic ones- and endless possibilities of props and costumes.

"i want you all to go home and take this into mind. two more weeks. it might seem like a long period of time, but it is not! it will fly right by and hit you smack in the face when you are least expecting it!" her shrill voice echoed from her position in center stage, causing all of us to either nod or roll of eyes in response. "okay. with that in mind, you all may go home."

as soon as the word's left miss miller's lips, molly leaped up from the seat beside me and grabbed my arm. "come on, let's go. god, i haven't had my daily dose of caffeine today and i'm surprised i even made it through the day."

i hesitated momentarily, causing molly to raise her eyebrows questioningly. "i'll meet up with you later. i was planning to go visit my mom at the hospital, today."

molly's eyebrows raised even higher. "seriously?"

"yeah." i squirmed uncomfortably underneath her gaze, "is it weird for a girl to want to visit her mom?"

"no. but when it's you, yes!" she let go of my arm. "are you okay?" her voice was lowered.

i nodded, "i'm perfectly fine, molly, i just need time away from here. with all the things going on right now, i think seeing my mom would be the best thing to do," and that was true; with the agonizing wait for northwestern, the play, and the situation with luke and calum, school was making me a tiny bit claustrophobic.

molly put her hands up in surrender, knowing that there was no stopping me, even if it was to visit my mother at the one place i was born and raised at. "okay, just remember you might regret this."

-

unfortunately, molly was right.

the moment i walked through the elevator at the hospital, a sinking feeling formed in the pit of my stomach and my instincts told me to leave.

before i could even think about turning around, i caught a glimpse of my mother leaving a patient's room to instruct an intern, her hair falling out of her bun. her eyes flickered up, as if she could sense my presence and her eyes met mine.

the air in the room automatically shifted, growing heavier.  "lydia," she waved her clipboard to the blonde intern beside her, allowing her to take it, "i'm busy right now, so it better be important."

my earlier problems seemed minuscule underneath her unwavering gaze and the words i had wanted to say dissolved on the tip of my tongue. "well, i wanted to talk to you about something, but i guess it can wait since you're busy," i muttered the last part uneasily but my mother didn't seem to notice the negative connotation hidden in my voice.

"you know i'm always busy, so i don't know why you even bothered to show up in the first place," she shook her head, clicking her tongue as if scolding my actions. "you must know i have patients that require my immediate attention, and as of right now, you aren't at the top of my priorities."

i combatted the urge to roll my eyes and storm away but the stubbornness that i unfortunately inherited from her caused me to scoff scornfully. "i get that you're this amazing, successful surgeon, but is that really an excuse to treat your only family like shit?"