i hate you | l.h

sixteen

"hey, it's luke. uh, i can't come to the phone right now. so, leave a message or whatever. yeah, yep. bye." i swore at the sound of luke's voicemail for the second time. i had been trying to reach him all morning and the only answer i got was the automated voice mail.

deciding against leaving a 'message at the tone', i quickly typed out a text: ARE YOU ALIVE IF U ARE ILL KILL YOU FOR IGNORING ME

he didn't reply. i decided to give up and tossed my phone onto my unmade bed which had an old novel i had been attempting to finish and my highlighted script that i needed to memorize. before i flopped back onto my bed, my phone rang abruptly.

my day had been dreadful. after calum had finally spoken up about luke, i had confronted him about it which definitely made things worse. he claimed that i didn't make enough time for him which was complete bullshit because it was him who didn't put in the effort or time. and i wanted to talk to the only person who would actually care. luke.

i lifted my head to peek at the lit screen and then let out a sigh of relief. "hey, where have you been?"

"sorry, his phone just kept ringing and i felt bad so i wanted to let you know he'll be calling you soon. he's in the shower at the moment." my mind reeled to a stop and i realized two things. one: it wasn't luke. two: it was a girl.

"excuse me?" i spluttered in confusion, "well. i mean, okay. wait, who's this?"

the girl on the other end seemed to hesitate for a moment before she replied, "abby,"

"abby?" i was very, very thrown. and confused. and annoyed. "abby wynn? like the one who threw the party at the beginning of the year?" my memory served me surprisingly well since i had blocked out every party that i had dragged to this year yet i still seemed to remember the name of the girl who at the moment, was the most annoying girl on the planet.

"yeah," abby replied, and i sucked in a breath. the line was quiet as if she couldn't decide whether or not we were actually going to carry on a conversation.

before i could curse her out, there were background noises and the line was muffled as if she were covering the phone with her hand. "mhm, yeah. lydia. phone. calling." were the only words i could pick up through the muffled sounds.

my annoyance started to rise and right before i clicked the hang up button, luke's voice came blaring through the phone, "hello?"

"are you kidding me?" i exclaimed, my voice harsh, dripping with venom. it wasn't fair, not rational, for me to be this frustrated at him, but i couldn't help it. "abby wynn?"

i didn't give him a chance to reply since i kept going, "are you going back to your old ways? drinking and hooking up with random girls every night?"

"what the hell is wrong with you?" it took luke a second to realize what was going on and when he finally replied, his familiar voice was a mixture between shock and confusion. my mind was reeling with what i just said, and i was shocked myself, too.

i could hear him mumbling something to abby in the background. "lydia, lydia. what's going on?"

"i," i looked down at my hands in horror. why was it any of my business who he slept with? i did not have the right to care, and i shouldn't have yelled at him the way i did but i couldn't apologize. "forget it."

i didn't give him a chance to reply, once again and hung up. i was such an idiot.

-

the porch light was on, and i was sitting curled on the wooden swing on our porch that my mom had installed when we first moved here. the sun had set, and the air was beginning to cool.