We both walked out the door. I have the urge to smoke, but I don't want anyone to see more as a bad influence. And I know Kyle would be pretty pissed off. We're both awkward, but Kyle? He's always off in his world. We both continue walking, I decide to break the silence.
"So, what have you been up to?" I say, gritting my teeth slightly. "Well, I guess you can say I've been second-guessing myself lately, I feel like I don't know how I really feel, you know?" Huh, that's not what I expected. To be fair though, Kyle has been getting more anxious lately, I wonder what's up? "Yeah, I've been there," I yawn, "It's like you feel a way but you don't want to, right?" I ask, his face was neutral, I feel like I hit the jackpot.
"Yeah, yeah I guess." He says avoiding eye contact with me. "Well? Do you want to talk about it?" I smile. My dimple piercings follow as I look at Kyle. His face turns slightly red. "No... Not at the moment." he frowns, "Is that how you really feel?" I ask him. He starts fidgeting with his gloves. "No." he walks, looking down at his fingers. I put my cold hand on my shoulder. His face lit up slightly. "Sorry." he says, I look into his dark green eyes. I could get lost in them. "For what?" I ask. There was a pause for a second.
"I'm uh.. Touched starved so I enjoy that." He's so cute. Wait, what am I thinking? I have a girlfriend- er, boyfriend? And Kyle just, he's not, he's not... I don't know the word. But something in me tells me it's right. Is this what Kyle is talking about?
"Oh! It's alright, I understand." I say shifting my arm to around his neck, propping it on his shoulder. He smiles lightly as we approach the pond. "We gonna sit on the bench or?" He says as I continue walking. "Oh, I was gonna set on the ground but I understand if you don't want to since you're in pajama pants. The snow isn't that bad around the pond though. He approaches, looking at the ground. "Huh, I guess you're right. The reflection from the sun must have done that." He sits, criss-cross style. While I sit on my knees. The ice over the pond was thick, but it wasn't thick enough to walk on.
I grab a cigarette out of my pocket while Kyle looks at me, a bit disappointed. "Sorry, Kyle." I say as i grab my black lighter out of my pocket. And light up my cigarette. He sighs quietly, smiling, "It's alright man."
Kyle POV
Even though I can't deny that I can enjoy a smoke once in a while, I still feel a bit upset, but I'll get over it. "So, after we go to the arcade, wanna watch a movie or something?" He says, inhaling his cigarette smoke. "Yeah, I'm sure my mom won't mind!" he exhales the smoke forward, I can smell it pretty well, I inhale too much and cough. "Sorry, you okay?" he asks, blowing the rest to the other side of him. "Yeah, I'm okay! Thanks for asking." I sound sarcastic but I'm not.
I touch the ice over the water as Stan leans in to see what I'm looking at. I can see our reflections in the ice. "This ice is kinda thin." I say. "Huh?" Stan looks at me with a confused look. "I'm talking about the ice, stupid, so if you step over it, it will break. You can't break it with your finger." Stan looks at me, raising an eyebrow. "I mean, duh!" He says as he gets up and puts a foot onto the ice, breaking it. I found it satisfying. "Wait that seems fun, let me try!" I say, getting up from my sitting position and stepping on it. Who knew breaking ice could be so fun.
I squat down and pick up some of the broken ice and I eat it, it tasted like... well, Ice. I Hand Stan some, he holds it in his cold, veiny hand, he puts his cigarette out and throws it into the hole we'd just created. He pinches the ice and eats it. "Mm, crunchy!" He says, mouth full of ice. I chuckle at his awe for it. His cute little smile had always flattered me. I loved how his piercings defined his smile. I think I'm starting to admit... I think I might have a small crush on Stan.
"Remember when we were like, 12 and Ike had this stupid little rubber duck he was playing with in the pond and it drifted away into the water and Ike was throwing a tantrum, you felt so bad for him that you took off your jacket and jumped in?" Remembering this moment made me giggle even more.
"Oh yeah, well, I was little, and I felt so bad for Ike that I just jumped in. I'd probably still do that today. I remember that you ran and got my jacket to cover me with and you jumped in to make me not feel as bad." he replied, chuckling slightly. "Those were the days..." I drifted slightly. He smiled, his breath showing clearly in the cold air.
It was silent for a moment.
"Hey, Kyle?" Stan looked forward, avoiding eye contact. "Yeah?" I looked at him, he looked at me slightly. "Do you ever feel uh... lost in your own mind? Like you don't know what to do?" I looked into his dark brown eyes, I wondered what he meant by that. "Yeah, I suppose I do, why do you ask?"
He was fidgety for a moment but he shook it off. "It's nothing really, it's just a general question." He said, I could tell he was lying, but I didn't want to say anything. "Oh, alright." It went quiet.
"Uh, should we get back to the room? My hands are getting a bit cold. I looked at his pale hands, he's always been paler than me, while I was always on the tanner side, despite the cold weather. I guess it could be related to ethnicity, he is Asian after all.
"Yeah, you can use the gloves in the meantime!" I say, taking them off. He smiled slightly. I helped him put it on as we slowly get up. "Thanks!" He says, smiling as he holds his hands together, warming them up. ________________________________ A/N WRITING THIS SJOULDNT HAVE MADE ME LAUGH BUT I WAS ZONED OUT AND ACCIDENTALLY TYPED THSIS
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