I can't breathe//Vinney Chapter 2 (TBP)

Chapter Ten//Scars

Refresher:

but right now. all i have to worry about. is that i have my best friends. AND my boyfriend back. i finally closed my eye leaning against Vance and fell asleep.

i was safe. in his arms.

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Third person PoV:

he would never forget. however much he wanted to, the thoughts of the incident will always remain, hidden within his scars. the persistent reminders that it wasn't just a horrible nightmare. from the bubbly lines streaking his chest, to the harsh bite marks on his neck. but the worst reminder is one yet to come.

Finney was sitting in the hospital getting checked for any health issues. he's spent the night there. his family waiting in his room, making small talk with him while they waited for results from Derek, his doctor.

the mood immediately changed as Derek walked into the already tense room, the tension was trying to hide itself as just normal room air. but just as it is thick it is fragile, and could be broken with those three words that flowed from Derek's mouth.

'we got the results back,' he started, sitting down in the chair next to Finneys hospital bed. ' i'm sorry. Finney, you're paralysed. from your hips down..'

the room was silent. still. as if time had stopped. but tears became to form and fall onto the white sheets below his eyes. father hugging daughter as she sobbed quietly. the tension is the air dissipated, turning to an ugly cold.

Finney shivered under the silence and bad news he'd just been given.

'we think that it may be possible you'll never use your legs the same way ever again. but, you are free to leave today,'

Derek left and came back a few minutes later with a wheelchair. Finney had only told the police station what had happened, the hospital didn't know how his paralysis had happened. nor did his family, Finney didn't want to address the pain of the reality.

the car ride home was silent, occasionally filled with quiet sobs from the family members, or a short little sniffle. Finney did none of this. he sat, and he sat, staring out of the window, watching and feeling the heat of the sun slowly fade from the town. he had a blank expression on his face. as if emotion never set foot in his heart.

he felt cold. freezing actually. like all life had seeped through his skin and ran off with the setting sun. they had arrived home, but he didn't have the desire to eat. he rolled himself to his room with ease, but the difficult part was to get himself into the bed without using his legs. in which, he had never done.

after a minute and a half he had done it by himself, he wouldn't allow his dad or his sister to help him. he didn't want to feel useless. but his mind knew it was too late for that. he would forever be useless, and there's nothing he could do to change that. he lay down laying parallel with the roof, staring at the blank surface.

he was falling. not physically but mentally. falling deep into the dark side of his mind, the part which caused his eating disorder, his self harm. the part of his mind, which made him physically ill. the part which destroyed him once was reinserting itself.

he wanted to scream, he wanted to cry, to yell into the void in which was dragging him down, to leave him alone, let him live. but he couldn't speak, not a single tear fell. he felt as if he weren't living, just merely  existing. existing in a world where he could never be the same Finney as he was before the first incident.

his nails scratched at his palms, as if it were trying to tell the shell of the boy, that his real personality was still with him trying to dig itself out. but the emotionless boy lay, staring at the ceiling, scratching at his palms, causing them to go red with blood blisters, the blood was blubbering to the surface but not fully submerging the boy with the red liquid that was causing him to live this horrid life he'd been cursed with.

the blood stayed within the cage it has been trapped in, being used for a worthless cause. why keep him alive? he doesn't need the blood. what's he using it for? he'd rather watch the thick substance flow down his wrists.

the house in which he laid, was so silent that it was deafening. too quiet for the poor boys ears. he wished he could scream, that he could cry, that he could say a word. but his mind took control of his mouth, as if his lips were physically stitched together holding all sounds from emerging into the deafening silence.

'if there were a god to believe in, why torcher me? what's my purpose?' the boy thought.

but as thought, the God in which he asked, didn't reply. didn't give him a sign. left him in his personal misery, destroying himself with thoughts.

he was falling, drowning, dying, suffering in silence. going deeper than he'd ever gone. he felt everything, yet nothing all at once. his heart couldn't handle or understand the feeling. his breathing was shaky and troubled. it felt as if his throat was closing up on itself.

eventually the bliss of falling asleep fell upon him, letting his head clear itself of thoughts. the bright blue lights playing tag across his face. his chest rising and falling softly. but still his mind tormented him with flashbacks and other nightmares. his eyes flashed open once more.

that night.

when the Grabber had been contained and chained up not able to get out.

Finney, paralysed, sat on his bed and stared out the window.

that night.

with the light of the moon making everything seem alright when it wasn't.

Finney, didn't sleep.

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word count 995