Love Grows (Love series: book 3)

Chapter 32.

Scott

Ella and the twins have been home from the hospital for two weeks now. I've been staying in the house with her to help with her recovery but also with the kids. I've been staying on the couch; Gail has been staying with us too.

On the way home from the hospital, I could see the uncertainty and fear in her eyes at the thought that I would be coming home with her.

And I didn't want that for Ella, but I also didn't want to be away from Remi or the twins, I didn't want to miss a second with them.

So before getting Ella from the hospital, I asked Gail is she was willing to move in with us for awhile, to help and to make Ella more comfortable being at the house with me. Of course, Gail didn't mind at all and for the most part it's been going okay, Ella is slowly getting back to her own self, her memories still haven't returned, but we're co-existing with each other I guess.

I hate the walking on eggshells around her, but I'm trying to make sure that she has her own space to cope with things. I just don't know how long it can go on for.

It's hard at best and I'm trying everything in my power to make sure that I'm being the husband she deserves, but keeping the distance I know she needs between us.

It's just really hard especially when you're tip toeing around your own wife. And when you feel like you're intruding in your home.

Snapping out of my thoughts as I hear my office door open, echoes of the blaring music from club follows.

Looking up in time to see Oliver walking in and closing the door behind him.

"Hey, what are doing here?" I ask him as he takes a seat facing me.

Oliver looks at me with a raised eyebrow and a look on his face.

"I can ask you same the questions" He fires back at me, now it's my turn to give him a look.

"Considering I owed the place; I have to be here" I argued.

"Yeah, but you've been here for six nights straight inside of being at home".

"And how exactly do you know that?" I snapped. Mostly because I'm getting pissed off that he's in my business, more then that someone is relaying information to him behind my back.

"I have ears, people like me and are worried you" He replies to me and smirks.

Shaking my head, calming my anger before looking back at him.

"Yeah well, those ears, as you call it here, consider them fired".

"You and I both know they aren't, talk to me Scott. -" he says before asking the questions I know he wants too and I don't want to answer at all.

"Why are you avoiding going home to your family?"

His question lingers between us. How do I answer that without sounding like a dick. How do I tell him why I'm in knots when I think about going home.

"I'm not, I have a business to run Ollie. You know that firsthand. Sometimes I have to be here night after night" I lied.

"I get running a business, but I also know that since this place has been opened you've only ever spent no more then two nights here. So, you could be at home with your family".

"How is this your business at all, why aren't you at home with your wife" I raised my voice at him, getting upset with this conversation. As he questions my marriage.

"My wife is at work, finishing a last-minute mix-up" He snorted.

"That's great, why don't you go and bother her then".

"I will once you stop lying and answer my question"

Throwing the pen down and leaned back against the chair and crossed my arms over my chest.

"What do you want to hear Ollie? How the thought of going home twists my stomach in knots. How my home doesn't feel like home anymore? How I don't even know if I belong there? -;" I broke off and sighed angrily, before meeting his stare.

"There you have your answer, now get out" I said to him. Done with this conversation with him.

"I didn't know things were so bad" he says to me, after a few moments of silences between us. Shaking my head at looked at him.

"It's hard, I'm sleeping on the couch. I have Gail in my spare room, and my wife looks at me like I'm basically a stranger along with wariness in her eyes" I sighed.

"And I don't know what to do anymore. I'm trying to show her the man I am now, the man she married. I'm trying to give her space. I'm trying to be there for her and the kids, but I'm drowning Ollie" I admitted to him.

I hate this, I don't what to make this about how I'm feeling because it's about my family, they need to come first, not my feelings, not my emotions.

But this is Ollie, my big brother and he's always saw through my acts, my walls, and my lies.

"Have you talked to Ella about this?" He asks me. Shaking my head.

"How do I even begin to bring this up in a conversation. She's still struggling with her lost memories and her emotions, don't get me wrong she's doing better. Especially with adjusting to having the twins, but she's still finding her feet and I don't want to add to her stress by whining about my own feelings".

"You're not whining Scott; what Ella went through.... what she's going through. Is terrible and she doesn't deserve it, but you have to see that it also happened to you- "Ollie says to me.

Opening my mouth to respond just as he waves his hand for me to stop.

"I'm not saying don't be sympathetic to her situation. I'm saying talk to your wife, no matter how hard it might seem. You don't know if or when her memories are going to come back" he begins.

"In marriage communication is everything. You need to be honest about how you're feeling with Ella, it's the only way to move forward" he added.

"I don't want to lose her Ollie" I sighed.

"By not facing the hard questions and issues you're both are going through. You just might Scott, talk to her, she's still the same Ella you fell in love with" he said and with that he gets up and walks out of my office.

Letting his words sink in, as I stare into nothing, trying to figure out what I'm doing.

I love Ella and the family we've created; I don't want to lose her or that. I'm afraid to push the boundaries with her, at the risk of losing her altogether.

But Oliver's right we can't keep going on like this, especially when we don't know if she will ever regain her memories.

There's a good chance she's might not and if that's the case then we need to figure out, where we go from there and how our marriage s going to work moving forward.

I won't give up her.

I won't give up on our family.

I'll fight for our happily ever after.

I just hope Ella wants to fight for it all too. I don't want lose her, but I also don't want her unhappy for the rest of our lives, because that's not a marriage and it wouldn't be fair to her, to me or our kids.