Love Grows (Love series: book 3)

Chapter 3.

Ella

Today has been rough, it's not easy not having Scott around me at least not since the attack with Kylie. logically I know that she's dead and that she can't hurt me anymore or come for anyone I love. 

But she's still there you know, haunting my thoughts and my nightmares.

I know that she stalked me, attacked me, shot Riggs, and was more than likely going to kill me and I know all of that, my brain knows that.

Yet the guilt of that day is still with me every day since that day, it doesn't matter how many times people tell me that it was self-defence and that she wouldn't  even blinked an eye to kill me, but she was still a person and I shot her, right here in my home, that shit lingers with a person.

And I know that I should talk to Scott about the nightmares and how I'm feeling, but I don't want to be a burden for him.

He doesn't show it and tries to hide it from me, but I know that he is under a lot of stress at this moment. He's football contract is up for renewal. He's business partner who works with him at the nightclub is nagging him to open up more locations around California, he's trying to be the best father and husband he can be to us.

He's juggling a lot, but I know him better than he knows himself sometimes, he doesn't want to burden me like I don't want to burden him, I think that's where we're going wrong, so when he gets back tomorrow, I'm going to open up about everything and I hope he will do the same.

"Mommy.... Mommy I want to go for pizza.... Mommy" Remi yelled from dining room table, as she throws her snack of carrot sticks on the floor in a huff. 

Shaking my head and took a deep breath, I don't know what is wrong with her. Since picking her up from school she has been nothing but naughty, throwing things, shouting, demanding that daddy comes home and I'm at my wits end.

"we always go for pizza. I WANT DADDY TO TAKE ME FOR PIZZA" She yelled louder and louder, locking my gaze firmly on my daughter from where I stood.

"Daddy isn't here tonight, he's at his game you know this. And mommy has a headache so no, we're not going out for pizza" I said calmly to her.

Remi flickers her glare from me to her pink cup in-front of her, and before I could stop her, she swings her hand out and knocks the juice all over the table.

"IT'S NOT FAIR" She screams, shaking my head and grabbed a tea-towel.

Walking over to her and grabbed her arm gently to get her up from the chair.

"Go to your room now Remi" I gritted out to her,

"No I want daddy, not you" 

"GO now you've just lost your iPad for two weeks, carry on and it will be no sleepovers with Josie or your friends for the next month" I firmly stood my ground.

"I don't like you mommy" She yelled towards me and then stamps her foot but then runs off, slamming her feet up the staircase as she walks up them.

Wiping up the juice and then sighed, I'm tired and I don't feel well, and I can't even call my mom, because my pride won't let me.

Taking a seat, throwing the towel down on the table and let the tears fall. I don't even know why I'm crying; I can handle when Remi has her tantrums, I've been doing it for years now. I don't know what is wrong with me, sitting here crying over nothing is just silly.

Pushing my tears away just as the doorbell rings, feeling my nerves kick in along with my anxiety. Lately every time that doorbell rings, I'm hit with a wave of panic, I hate that Kylie did this to me.

Taking a few breaths in and out and made my way over to the door, looking at the security video feed on the tablet that we have on the wall near the door.

Clicking on the front-door camera feed just as Amanda's face pops up. Feeling the panic leave my body a little and opened up the door to her.

"Hey, what are you doing here?" I ask her, as she smiles at me.

Amanda holds up an overnight bag and two boxes of pizza.

"Well, I know you guys have pizza tonight , I also know that you probably wouldn't want to go alone, so I brought the pizza to you and it's girls night" She says, letting her in the house and then locked the door behind us.

Turning back around to face her with a small smile.

"Scott sent you, over didn't he?" I said to her, we never planned a girls night.

Amanda looks at me with a slight guilty look in her eyes.

"I pled the fifth on that, but technically Oliver was the one who mentioned it on Scott's orders" she confessed,

Shaking my head, I love that she cares, along with Oliver too and that Scott is worried, but I don't need a babysitter I need to learn to be able to stay home alone in our house again.

"You don't need to stay over Manda, I'm okay honestly for one night" I said.

"I never said that your weren't, maybe I need a girls night. Oliver snores..."

Letting out a giggle at that information.

"So does Scott, must be a Vaughan thing" I laughed, Amanda breaks out in a fit of laughs too.

"Then you know my pain, come on we've got pizza and I know you have wine. So it's a Girls night Ella...where is Remi?" She replied looking around the room for my daughter. She can have a glass of wine; I'm not drinking tonight.

"She's in her room, come on I'll get you that glass of wine and I'll tell you all about it" I said and nudged her towards the kitchen.

Feeling a smile on my face, I'm lucky that I have people who care about me and my wellbeing, but more importantly Amanda being here, shows that Scott knows that I'm still struggling with everything and without me having to tell or admit that to him.

I'm an incredibly lucky woman to have a husband so amazing like him.