𝐉𝐄𝐍𝐍𝐈𝐅𝐄𝐑'𝐒 𝐁𝐎𝐃𝐘

Motherly Talk

"𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐈 𝐃𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐖𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐚 𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐁𝐞𝐭𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐌𝐚𝐧
𝐄𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐓𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐈 𝐊𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐈'𝐥𝐥 𝐓𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐁𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐇𝐞 𝐂𝐚𝐧"
- 𝐈 𝐂𝐚𝐧'𝐭 𝐇𝐞𝐥𝐩 𝐁𝐮𝐭 𝐖𝐚𝐢𝐭, 𝐓𝐫𝐞𝐲 𝐒𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐳

✼ •• ┈┈┈┈๑⋅⋯ ୨˚୧ ⋯⋅๑┈┈┈┈ •• ✼

"MAI, WE NEED TO SPEAK TO YOU..."

It's hard to hear those seven words appear in your life. Either you're in trouble or something terrible is going to happen. Seeing two people I care for scared in front of me made me anxious.

"We've been wanting to tell you this, but I'm attracted to Natalie." Klaus said quietly.

"What?" I said laughing, "You're joking, right, Klaus? This is some kind of prank."

But he wasn't smiling. He seemed ashamed, which made me more afraid. A silent oh left my mouth as I felt my body slump in anger, desperation, and guilt. Is this how it feels to be ruined by something you love?

"I'm only physically attracted to her, I swear. There's no emotional attachment between us." Klaus stated as Natalie nodded gently.

I heard ringing when Klaus started talking. His head was buried in his hands as his leg bounced anxiously. What are you so angry for? I thought in my head. I should be the one angry. I look over at my friend. Her fresh-manicured hands rubbed my boyfriend's back, giving him the physical sympathy he needed.

'Oh, so this is real?'

"Fine, if you want to mess around with her, go ahead, but don't come to me whenever she gets knocked up."

I never thought I'd see two people so happy to ruin a marriage as I saw them kiss in front of me. They probably didn't realize I'd left the room, as their moans covered up the sounds of my rushing footsteps.

I want to be loved.

I just want to be loved.

It's been a few months now since my husband and best friend asked me for their blessing. I've noticed Klaus getting a little depressed as days went. Usually because Natalie was busy with something, and couldn't fulfil his deeds until it was storming the day you told me. On my walk back from the market, I saw you waiting for me by the gate. It almost made me believe that there is hope that maybe, just maybe, you still love me. Believing we can start all over again.

But giving in to hope is violent. "We have an issue."

Dear my sweet Klaus and Mai,

You don't have to read this, but in case you do, please allow Mai to read along. I'm sorry for the both of you. I realized what I did wasn't for pleasure but for love. I loved everything about you, Klaus. I want so obviously and desperately to be in love, and I wish I was capable of it. I need you to know that I hate how much I wanted you without humiliating myself. I was scared that the love I had for you would ruin everything we had as friends. And for Mai, my dearest friend, I understand if you want to burn bridges with everything we had. I invented this love that I thought would be real, but honestly, he loves you more. I see the way he stares at you whenever you speak or are just sitting in your school chair. I'm leaving, and I'm not coming back. It's better for the three of us, but I have a little something for the both of you. Please take care.

Love, Natalie

P.S. Her name is Mikasa

"What should we do?" Klaus said as I held the baby close to my chest. I watched her little mouth pout and her eyes flutter open every once in a while. I smiled for the first time in months. I never thought God would answer my prayers and give me hope. Maybe this baby is going to help us. For our relationship. But the truth is that no child can save their mother.

"You must be Veronica."

Veronica looked up and smiled gently. "You must be Mai. We have a lot to talk about."

The old sounds of the grandfather clock echoed through the office where they both sat at. Mai shifted in her seat as Veronica's hard stare stayed on her. "You wanted to talk, so talk."

"I don't know what type of game you're playing, but it needs to stop. Not only does your daughter want nothing to do with you, but you still think you're right. Mothers like you should be ashamed of yourself because you are doing nothing but projecting your unwanted life on her."

Mai hummed, sadly agreeing to her words. "It's true. My mother was arranged to marry my father when she was Mikasa's age. It tore her dearly that she didn't want the same thing for me. But my father forced me to marry Klaus because Mikasa was just born. Three months prior."

Mai stared at the picture on her desk and smiled. "From that moment on, I wanted to give her everything in the world, even if she wasn't mine. Each day I screwed up by being angry and stupid, but she still told me she loved me at the end of the day."

"Have you thought of going to therapy?" Veronica asked as Mai shook her head no.

"I tried, but as a eight teen-year-old girl, I was told my problems were minor, and worst of all─ I was told I hadn't lived enough to really want to die. I don't know if I want to forget. Let alone If I want to. All time ever does is pass me, and all I do is remember, but there are times where I feel like my life ended at 18."

"She's growing up to know what's wrong or right. She learns that from you, and right now, you're in the wrong. From what I see, you're putting Mikasa in the same position as you once were. Not wanted, cheated on, and unloved. It's seems like you're punishing her for your husband's actions." Veronica said.

Mai got quiet and then spoke, "He told me I would never be her mom. I had to prove a point that I can take care of her by making her dreams come true, no matter what. I treated myself like I would for Mikasa. I brushed her hair, washed her laundry, tucked her in for bed. Most importantly, I fed her. I did not punish her not did I berate her."

"You remind me of my mother. Her and I don't have the best relationship because she thought she was taking care of me, but honestly, she was a vile women. She loved me before she stopped. I realized I was the one who made the mistake. I remember pleading to her. Mama, please look at me. Stop yelling at me and hold me. Please be on my side, whether I'm right or wrong. I never stopped calling her mama. She had all kinds of anger issues and even used to take me to the backyard to smack my mouth. All I remember is her sneering at how I acted like her mother and her mother before. I told her I'd kill myself too if I were her mother."

Mai gasped, "Mikasa would never. She respects me. "

"But you'll never know. My mother didn't know she hated, yet I was hated. And I carried that hatered with me my whole life like it was a honor trophy." Veronica said, standing up from the old chair, giving Mai one last sympathetic look.

"Some women aren't made to be mothers. Same way how some women aren't made to be daughters. You can continue this game you're playing because you're trying to prove a point, but you've got to realize that putting a child in the middle is not going to help win your life back."