We met in September

CHAPTER 14

Elise

Not being able to open the canned cat food reminds me of him. And I hate it, I hate that it reminds me of him, I hate that I keep thinking about him.

I hate it.

I rub the cute brown cat sitting in front of me in the head, "I know you're hungry I will open it now" I say and try to open the can again.

I try again and again but fail. I exhale looking at the cat, "Maybe I should've just bought some fish"

"Let me" a hand reaches mine and takes the can food from me, the voice, the hand is so familiar. I snap my head to the side and find him, sitting right next to me.

When did he get here?

He opens the can in just one try and place it in front of the cat, he smiles stroking the cat.

He looks at me. Smiling.

I keep looking at him, still crouched down, just keep looking into his eyes, his brown chocolate eyes.

I look away from him, getting up and start walking straight, "Elise Elise" I hear him following me but I don't stop and keep walking.
"Elise please I am sorry" he keeps following me and I keep walking faster.

"You know you're so right!" He says while I keep walking, "I do act selfish" he starts walking backwards, facing me but I don't look once at him, "in fact I am selfish"
"And I totally deserve being ignored by you, blocked by you"

"I deserve worse and more" he keeps talking,
"In fact I am a fucking loser" he stops walking backwards and I walk past him.

"Elise" he grabs my arm making me stop, I look at him and my heart somehow melts when I find softness in his eyes but why should that matter. I jerk my hand, I jerk my hand just like he did that day on the abandoned pool to me.

"Stop following me!" I shout at him trying to hold back my tears.

"Elise..." He walks closer, "I am sorry"

His heartbeat. I can hear his heart beating.

"I am sorry" He says again, "you can hit me, slap me but please let me talk to you"

"I told you to not talk to me again" I say, taking a breath in, "Elise please" he walks closer and I take a step back.

"Go away" I say, looking straight into his eyes.

"Elise.." he walks closer and holds my hand.
I feel his warmth, it's been just six days, six days since our hands touched and I hate it, I hate it that I still love his hands holding me.

No matter how much I try I can't hate him, not think about him, not count the days since we stood so close to eachother, not look at our old text messages on phone.
I hate him. I hate him for doing this to me, I hate him for making me so helpless around him. And I hate it that I don't hate it at all.

"I said go away!" I pull my hand out of his and push him in the chest, making him stumble back, "just leave me alone" a single tear falls down my cheek and I wipe in off.

"I know saying sorry isn't enough I know it won't fix anything but Elise..." He slowly walks towards me again, his eyes, his eyes looking so warm, so gentle, I just keep looking at them.
"I am such an idiot" he gently holds my hand again, both hands, "I am such a fool" he keeps his head down "I have been so selfish" he looks at me again, "I only thought I only focused on my own problems, I only thought about the bad things, I thought about them so much that I forgot to see the good ones....I was so busy in the hurtful things that I forgot to see the people around me, my mom, my best friend and you"