Harder than a Diamond (BBANGSAZ)

15

Minji's POV

I can feel the anger and frustration boiling inside of me after I talked to my Dad. His strict rules and regulations have never allowed me to live my own life. Despite my sacrifices and hard work, he still refuses to let me taste my freedom? It's so unfair. He chose his company over his own family, leaving me and my mother alone in other country.

" Don't worry Minji, I'll take care of everything. I know one day your dad will learn to accept you" my mom comforted me as she noticed that my ears are turning red out of anger.

" No mom, I can handle this. You shouldn't stress yourself, you're recovering.

I hate him"

" Calm down Minji, your father loves you. He's just born in a religious family, where people are disagreeing with that kind of matter" tsk that's an evident that not all religious people are considerate.

" I'll go outside mom, you should sleep it's getting late" I said and pecked on her cheeks.

.

As I wander the streets, my mind is getting consumed with her. Hanni. I pull out my phone and stare at the same picture that has been my wallpaper for years. It's a picture of us, happy and carefree. It's my motivation to keep going. I called Haerin right away.

" Hello?"

" Send me her location"

" Wait, you're going to her house?"

" Yes, any problem?"

" I have no problem with that.

It's just I'm so proud of you"

" Thanks. Hmm I wanna see her."

" That's Good, I'll text you the address"

But there's one thing that I miss doing, drinking. I'll let myself drunk, I can't face her when I'm mindful. I'm still not ready. She definitely hates me, no doubt.

I wonder if she still feel the same way about me. I wonder if she already moved on, if she found someone new. The idea of her with someone else leaves a deep wound inside me.

I find myself in a bar, drowning my sorrows in alcohol. I miss the feeling of being free and forgetting everything for a while. But I can't let myself get too drunk, I need to keep control. I call for a cab and make my way to her house.

I tried my best to stand straight, and reach for the doorbell, that's where I heard the door opened and I saw her looking astonished and after 3 seconds she nervously closed it, I knew it she wouldn't want to see this face of mine. I understand her, I showed up like a mushroom. Then the door swung open again, that's when my heart beat stops again.

I miss her. I miss this face, her smell, her cute little eyes, her nose, her cheeks. I miss everything about her. But she doesn't react the way I expect her to. Instead, she's hitting herself in the face and starts pinching her arms. I can't bear to see her in pain, it hurts me more than anything else. Stop saying that Minji. you literally left her. I try to calm her down but my own emotions are getting the best of me. I tried my best to say a word but nothing comes out from my mouth.

"s-Stop hurting YmyouRself,

My Hanni"

Shit. I stuttered.

I managed to say those words, I miss calling her "My Hanni", I wish I still have the right to call her mine.

I know that she still hates me more than anything else. She still won't let me in, frozen in place as I try my best to stand outside her door.

But then, out of nowhere, I'm in her arms, hugging me tightly. I can't believe it. She should slapping me right me, punching me. She should hate me for leaving her behind. She should be angry at me for not being there.

But she's not. She's holding me tight, and I can feel my heart beating faster. Why do you have the same effect on me?

As I start to lose consciousness, I can't help but wonder why she still cares for me. Why she still loves me, even after everything I've done. I feel myself falling harder for her, and I can't stop it.

I don't deserve you.