Little Things

Chapter Eighteen

Cas was quiet all through dinner, but he did his best to show he was grateful, and even smiled when a birthday cake was brought out for him. Dean took a picture of Cas blowing out the candles. Cas's mood improved by the time they arrived home.

'Do you want us to take it down?' Mary asked, watching him stare at the decorations again.

'No,' he said. 'It was nice of you. Not many foster parents bother to celebrate birthdays. We're not often around for very long so there's no point.'

Mary nodded sympathetically.

'I knew a girl once who thought real birthday parties were only in movies,' he continued. 'We never told her otherwise. I think she knew, but it was easier to believe...' Cas shook his head. 'Sorry.'

'It's okay,' said Mary. 'Here, look, some mail came for you today.' She handed him a few envelopes, and the package from Charlie.

Dean settled on the couch with John and Mary to watch TV. Once Cas had put away his mail, he sat cross-legged on the floor with Sam, who was teaching him to play some sort of card game. He seemed to be enjoying himself, but later that night, in the dark when he thought everyone was asleep, Dean heard him sniffling on his side of the room. Dean considered getting up to comfort him, but then he heard a dial sound, then a voicemail.

'I miss you,' Cas whispered into the phone. 'Please call me.' He hung up, then Dean heard him get up and start pacing.

Dean too got up and stepped over to the curtain.

'Hey, are you okay?' Dean asked softly.

Cas hesitated. 'No,' he admitted. 'I'm scared.'

'What are you scared of?'

'I'm scared that - that something happened to my brother and I'll never know. My sister... she disappeared after she was adopted and I never saw her again. What if Gabriel left me too?'

Dean nodded. 'I understand. It is a scary thought.'

Cas pulled aside the curtain and looked at Dean with big watery eyes. 'I - um -'

Dean's heart ached and he couldn't stop himself from pulling Cas into a tight hug. 'It'll be okay,' he murmured, rubbing Cas's back.

Cas nestled into Dean's shoulder, clutching him as though afraid he'd disappear if he let go.

'Dean?' Cas said, his voice unsure and slightly muffled. 'I - I don't want to be alone. Will - will you stay with me? Just - just for tonight?'

Dean's stomach lurched. 'Yeah, of course I will.' He let go of Cas but stroked his arm softly. 'Come on.' He led Cas back to his own bed and sat him down. 'Deep breaths,' he prompted. 'I've got you.'

Cas nodded, and when he seemed to relax a little, Dean guided him under the covers. 'That's it, close your eyes,' he murmured. 'I'm right here.'

Dean slid underneath the covers as well, lying next to Cas and doing his best to control the butterflies in his stomach, though it became more difficult when Cas reached out and laced their fingers together.

'I've got you,' Dean whispered again, running his thumb over the back of Cas's hand until they both fell asleep.

When Dean woke, he'd let go of Cas in his sleep, but placed his hand protectively on Cas's chest instead. Dean looked groggily at his still sleeping form. His lips slightly open, breathing steadily. He looked so relaxed, no trace of his usual anxiety or sadness yet lined his face. Dean smiled and stroked Cas's cheek with a finger. His skin was soft but for the patches of fine stubble growing along his jaw.

Cas's eyes fluttered open at Dean's touch, absurdly blue in the sunlight from his window.

'Morning,' Dean mumbled, taking his hand away. 'Feeling any better?'