The Weird Kid (BXB)

THIRTY

Tw: mention of suicide, self harm, ED.

Finnick

After dropping Emery off I carefully snuck back into the room trying to not wake my mate.

But I failed.

"Finnick?"

"Sorry I took so long." I whisper setting the keys dow

Cain sits up in bed, the comforter pooling around his waist. His hair was all a mess and he rubbed his eyes like a tired child. He looked so cute.

Smiling to my self I walked over to him and ran my finger through his hair.

He looked up at me with tired eyes before sighing and closing his eyes.

I lay down one the bed next to him and he immediately moves to place his head on my chest.

"I remember how scared you were, scared that you were going to hurt me if you laid on me." I whisper, playing with his hair

I didn't get any response from him, only soft snores indicating that he was asleep.

Tightening my hold on Cain, I kissed his head and stared up at the ceiling.

Something that's happened since I've been a wolf is that a don't always sleep. It's weird but I haven't brought it up to anyone.

After about an hour of laying there I carefully slid out from under Cain and walked out on our balcony.

I thought about going for a  run but it was late. I didn't want to risk a run in with someone or something bad.

Walking back into the room Cain was still asleep.

I sat on the end of the bed and looked at the wall.

So many thoughts racked my mind. Thoughts I haven't thought in over two months.

Looking at Cain felt tears prick me eyes.

I can't hurt myself. It will hurt him.

You'll always hurt him. You'll always disappoint him.

I got up from the bed and walked into the bathroom, closing the door softly.

I locked the door and sat on the edge of the tub. I opened the cabinet under the sink and rifled around until I found a razor.

Jameson left plenty of razors and I had experience with getting them opened.

After I broke the razor open I stared at the small blades in my hand questioning everything.

I looked at the underside of my arm, looking at all the scars. The majority of them were white and less risen. I hated it. My scars have always been a part of me. I can't let them fade. If they fade my past pain fades too.

Without much thought I made a quick swipe across my wrist, shocking myself with how deep it went.

I made five more gashes.

On the last one, the one closest to my hand. I fucked up. Blood sprayed upwards, scaring me.

"Fuck! Shit, shit, shit!"

I grabbed a towel and pressed down hard, a tingly feeling going through my hand.

"Baby?" I hear through the door