Wolfstar // Jegulus One-Shots

3. touch - jegulus

when regulus first got with james he couldn't help but feel confused. confused as to why nothing james did ever hurt him. growing up he was taught that touch hurt. but when james touched him it was like flowers blossoming in the spring. it was gentle, when he held tight it gave a sense of comfort rather than pain. no blood spilt when they were together. and that's what drove regulus insane. was this love?

his mother told him what she did was because she loved him.

james said what he did was because he loved him.

what one was love? regulus didn't know. everyday it was a battle in his head if james loved him. because james didn't hurt him. so how could he love him.

"james.."

"yes reggie?"

"do you love me?"

"of course my love, why wouldn't i?" james responded clear confusion laced in his tone.

"n-nothing" regulus responded almost to quickly. "i was just making sure i guess.."

"love, im not dumb i know something's wrong can you tell me please?"

"it's.. i just. you never hurt me and mother says that what she does when she hurts me is because she loves me and i just.. i don't know."

James confused as to why regulus would ever think he might not love him, slowly put down the book remus had lent him.

"come here love.." James said sincerity laced into his voice motioning for regulus to come by him. With his head hung low regulus obeyed, his steps slowed. Regulus mind was racing, was this when james would say he really didnt love him and it was over. Regulus fought back tears the voice of his mother telling him 'blacks dont cry.' engraived in his mind to the point he couldnt cry no more.

once regulus came face to face with james he saw the way his eyes were softened the way it always was when regulus told him of his past. Regulus hated that hated when people pitied him for his past. "my love, i do love you. I love you so much it hurts. And my love your mother is not a good women, and pain is not what makes one love you, she said that so you thought ehat she was doing was normal."

the words stung regulus's heart, did his mother really love him then? If james loved him then his mother couldnt, right? thats how it goes right, love is one certain thing.

However James didnt take for granted the look projected onto regulus face

"oh reg, darling people show love in different ways, their isnt no distinct way. Some people show it by physical touch, some is simply gift giving. but regardless its still love, and I tell you one thing i love you. I love holding you at night, I love the way you look at the stars with all your attention. I love you reg, I swear on all the stars."

and even though he was not the one to cry, regulus let out a few tears, arm wrapping around his torso. a stance that only overtook him when he was feeling overwhelmed. and right now everything just seemed to much. Too much words to handle, how his mother was wrong, that love wasnt hurt, the james really did love him, the thought that seemed to be present was did he deserve to be loved.

Slowly James stood up taking a few steps till he was directly infront of regulus. slowly james wrapped his arms around reg pulling him into a hug, causing reg to let out an angry sob. "Why cant I just love like a normal person, why do I have to make love so hard."

"becuase love, you grew up without true love, and with that its going to be hard to know what love is and what it feels like to be loved, but that doesnt make you abnormal, it makes the people who were meant to love you at fault for not showing you proper love."

James felt regulus nod into his chest, he knew reg didnt really beleive it atleast not 100% but that was ok, as long as he started to beleive it it was okay.

Because touch was not mean to hurt. It was meant to be filled with love. And thats why james touch is what regulus yearned for. becuase it didnt hurt. It felt good. And thats the way love was meant to be. and so then maybe james did love him.