The Beach Accident | ✍🏼

21. New Beginnings

- Luke Miller - 

Walking beside some of my older brothers, I had fallen silent. We had all come to the mutual decision, that at least two of us would stay in the hospital while the rest of us looked at houses, furniture, clothes, whatever we would need for the new life we would be living, down in Miami. 

Except, for some reason, I could not let my mind stray away from my sister, that had only just had surgery to her heart less than a week ago. She was predicted to be awake by the end of this week. But everything I looked at, I wish she was here by my side. 

Even though, if a few months ago, we had drifted, right now, I needed my best friend. She had always been my best friend growing up, because she never teased me. She didn't tease me about my height or that I wasn't as muscly as the rest of them. I knew that they never meant it, but whenever Shane or Grayson had said something, I knew they meant it. 

Skylar had never once made me feel different to the rest of them, while Shane and Grayson took whatever chance they could to have a dig at me, just like I knew my father would have. So, that was why I needed to start a new life, with my best friend by my side. 

"What's up Lulu?" Jay had chided Riley out of the hospital room, which made it all the much harder to hide behind my other brothers, in their loud, rowdy conversations. He had somehow mastered the tricks of realizing when one of us wasn't comfortable, and in this moment, I hated it. I blinked back tears, before glancing up at my eldest brother. 

"Nothin'" I murmured in response, pulling at the strings of my hoodie, while I aimlessly followed my brothers around the furniture shop, as they wrote down the information for the furniture we were buying. Apparently, Sky and I would be sharing a room again, which I had missed. I had missed sharing a room with her, as Shane had forced us apart, which was just another reason why we drifted. 

Summer would be getting her own room as well as Rylie, while Jay and George would be sharing and the twins would be sharing as well. Noah was supposedly bunking in with us, but that was still undecided, as apparently, Rylie had bought the house, which was 6 bedrooms, with a basement, and access to the beach from the backyard. We weren't supposed to see the house until Jay and Rylie had set everything up for us, which was predicted to be done in around 4 weeks. 

"Lulu" Rylie's tone wasn't stern, but it did hold a stricter tone to the playful side, basically telling me not to lie to him. It was really hard to lie to Rylie, while Shane was really easy, as he barely cared for anyone but himself. "Honestly, it's nothing" it really wasn't anything that he needed to worry about. I was just worried about Sky in all reality. I had always worried about her. 

Even the reminder of Lulu, the same nickname that Sky had given me because she couldn't pronounce my name fully. "It's about Sky, isn't it?" I just nodded my head to Rylie's accusation. When wasn't I thinking about my little sister? She was the one that had just had heart surgery, and I had had no idea about the chest pains she had been having for the past two months. I didn't know and I felt at fault for it. 

"Hey, Luke, what do you think of this for your room?" Brayden caught my attention by showing me a room that had three identical beds, each with a bedside table to them, and then desks on the opposite side. I just nodded, looking at the light pink sheets, getting an instant reminder of the little girl in the hospital, without me by her side. 

Rylie gently pulled me into his side, as we walked further down the store, in silence. Just his arm wrapped around my shoulder was enough comfort in the moment, but not enough to make me cry. I knew that when I got back to the hospital, that I would probably have to hide my face in Sky's pillow, so that I could cry in silence without getting teased by the rest of them. 

Summer was still in hospital, as she was still dealing with the after effects of her surgery that she had less than a month ago. I was so sick of hearing about surgeries that I just wanted my life to be moving on from all of this hospital stuff. 

"You know you can talk to me?" I hated that statement that was really meant to be a question. I knew I could, but I just didn't want too. There was no way that I could explain everything that had happened to my eldest brother. I couldn't put it into words just how confused I was with the life I had been told was mine. 

I just shrugged as a response, feeling a sense of panic and starting to feel overwhelmed with Rylie's arm draped over my shoulders. I lightly pushed him off me, as I walked closer to the other boys, knowing that Rylie would want to keep the conversation going, but I didn't want to take any part in it, at least not right now. I wanted to save everything for later, when I could hold my little sister to my chest, knowing that she was safe from me, even when she was in pain. 

"So, Lu, you gonna try some new sports or continue with surfing?" it felt weird conversing with Blake, as he never spoke too me much. He always thought I was childish, being the main reason why I wanted to distance myself from Skylar, but I knew I never could. I would pick Skylar over the rest of them, day after day. "Not sure" I said, trying to get my voice higher than a mutter under my breath. 

Blake initially just nodded his head. I hadn't really thought about everything in detail; the fact that I would have to start a new school and make new friends. "I'm sure you'll find something you love. How about, I teach you football or something" Blake was the sportiest brother I knew. 

Growing up, he had been the best swimmer, before he moved onto soccer, then to field hockey, then to finish in high school and into college, he went with football. Surfing had always been his second option, while I had never done anything but surfed. I had always believed that it had been ingrained in my blood since I was born, as I was always sitting on the beach, watching everyone else. 

But, as I grew older, I came to the realization that it wasn't really my thing. I had started to hate going out on my board and having to compete to prove myself to the rest of my brothers. Grayson always had been breathing down my back, telling me that Skylar was going to be better than me or that she was catching up. I knew she was, but surfing wasn't for me, so, I had lost all care for it. 

I prefer just to go out and sit on my board, while I knew the waves were slowly moving beneath me. I didn't need a medal to prove my worth, or at least not to my brothers. "Yeah, I would like that, if you don't mind" I couldn't ramble, not to the brother that I had always wanted to impress. 

Because of all of the taunts and chants that Blake had said to me over the years, I had always wanted to have something that I could be better at. Grayson and Shane never approved of that, as the older ones had to be better than the younger ones. So, it always felt like Blake used every opportunity that I came out of my room, to make me feel even worse, but if I looked back on it now, he was just trying to be a normal brother. 

"You'll get there, bud" maybe he sensed how uncertain I was about it all or not, his arm fell around my shoulders, just like Rylie's did, except his was more playful, as he pulled my head into his chest, while ruffling my hair up. And for the first time in what felt like years, I truly smiled. A real smile was hanging from my lips, as I tried to push my brother away, while he joked and I, for once, didn't take it too heart. 

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finally updated. thoughts? xx