The Beach Accident | ✍🏼

24. Chaos Is Calming

 - Luke Miller - 

I had my back pressed against the brick wall of the hospital, inhaling as much smoke as my lungs would allow. Most people gave me disgusted looks or looked the other way, but I didn't care. I didn't dare move my cold, frigid body from the brick wall, as I had no idea where I was anymore. 

I couldn't go back to my sister and pretend nothing had ever happened, because they had forgotten. They had forgotten, and I didn't care that they had, but I didn't want a fuss over a birthday. No one had ever fussed over it, so it didn't matter now. It never had, and it never would. The only thing I cared for was my sisters. 

"Hey" a voice shocked me, shaking my cold bones. I had been sitting here long enough to see the moon lose its light to the sun. It wasn't bright, but it was still bright enough without a light to see who had just rounded the corner and found me. I didn't respond, rather scoffing before putting the cigarette back into my mouth. 

I had started smoking about two years ago, on my 14th birthday to be exact, as I couldn't deal with the pain that Shane inflicted. It was nothing like our father, as he had only ever strangled me and given me a few slaps on the wrist, while Shane always made sure that I was beneath him, on the floor writhing around underneath his boots. 

I know Skylar had tried to see the good in him, but I couldn't. I couldn't see it anyone anymore. I couldn't trust any of them anymore. I knew they had been through it too, but the older ones got a free pass when it came to Shane, but I didn't. I never did, so I stole cigarettes from Greyson when I could, and hid around after the hurt had set in. 

The person that had called out to me, had now sat down beside me, way too close. His leg was pressing into my own, causing me to scoot away from him a little. He only sighed in response. "I deserve that" he murmured, more to himself than me, and truly, he did deserve it. I didn't want comfort from any of them on this day, especially from Jay. 

I felt some form of resentment to him. We had been close at one stage, but he had just forgotten about me along the way too. I had thought higher of him, until he had just let me slip through the cracks like everyone else had done so to me. "Yeah, you do" today was just one of those days that hurt more than the others.

It was the day that my parents died, 11 years ago. I was 5 then, but now I had just turned 16. Skylar would be 11 in about 2 months. "How can I make it you to you?" the softness in his tone nearly made me say, buy me a cake and maybe a present, but I bit on my tongue and just shook my head. He was 11 years too late. 

"It doesn't matter about my birthday. They passed today too, which is more important" I bit back on the tears as I really felt the words that had left my mouth. I had been forgotten about that I no longer cared about having a gift and cake. It had been so long without one that I didn't care. I would get the one random card from Skylar that she had made at school, but even then, it was never on the actual day, as we were usually mourning on my birthday. 

Silence filled the two of us, as I used the last of my cigarette, before putting it out on the side of my jeans, letting it burn a little before removing it. I didn't care, I needed the pain so I could feel more than the sadness and anger that had filled my body already. "You know you shouldn't do that to yourself, Lu" that stupid nickname kept coming back up today. 

"Just stop, okay! I'm fine! I need people to leave me alone" tears spilled down my cheeks before I had the chance to wipe them. I was so lost in my head for crying, that I didn't know Jay had pulled me down and I was now sobbing. Just great. 

---

- Skylar Miller - 

Everyone was trying to talk to me about how much I had missed while I had been sleeping all the time, but I wasn't really listening. I kept looking back to Riley, who was pacing back and forth with a phone still pressed to his ear. It had been since Luke had walked out of here when I had mentioned that it was his birthday. 

It was always the two of us celebrating his birthday, alone, usually at a cafe or even just down on the beach. Everyone else thought that it was just our way of mourning our parents, the same parents I barely knew, but it was for Luke, my Lu, and only Lu. 

I had thought, and it was stupid of me, that this year, seeing everyone was together, that we could celebrate it together, but I probably should have asked. I couldn't help it when I saw the date, and I didn't know anyone else was in the room. I had just wanted to do something for him, but I had ruined everything, and it was clear to me. 

"Riley?" I called out, silencing the room that had erupted in many people shouting and talking at the same time. It was a bit calming, knowing that they could still talk that much, but I needed Lu right now and only Lu. None of them compared to Lulu right now, and I knew he would be hurting. Not only would it hurt that it's his birthday, but he lost his mom and dad on the same day. 

No one paid him much attention, like I don't think they knew it was his birthday today either. He had never been given a real gift, only what I could make do. He had been hurt by Shane sometimes, on his birthday too. Today was a bad day to wake up to, and I needed to give him a big hug. 

"Yeah?" he walked over, removing the phone from his ear, and a small smile adorning his face. I missed this. "Can you get Lulu? I need to tell him something" he could only nod, as I knew the words had gotten lost. He had tears in his eyes too, at the mention of Lulu. Everyone should, at what they have done to him all this time. 

Right on cue, the door smashed open, scaring me, as I hid under the covers, only to see Jay, carrying a very sleepy Luke, as he placed him down in the chair beside me. "'M sorry for leaving you, Lar, but I had to" he murmured, right as he collapsed into the chair, losing all resistance I knew he would have had for Jay touching. 

He was the most battered and bruised of us all. 

---

thoughts? xx

sorry for the long wait on this short and bad chapter. I didn't know what to write so it's kinda  a filler chapter for now