Our Lives Have Changed

Chapter Thirty-Four

I'm sitting at the table with the kids trying so hard not to break down crying. There's a suitcase at the door and she's upstairs on the phone. She's leaving and it's all my fault, I just can't be faithful to her and she deserves someone who does. I looked at Caleb, Carly and Maria they all are talking about wanting to go swimming after lunch,

"I'm going to do a flip off the diving board" Caleb smiled

He's now eleven and Carly is nine. They are growing so fast it feels like just yesterday they we're six and four,

"Well I'm going to race across the pool" Carly said

Maria just sat there. She's been in the pool before but it's just the fact that they're talking about things she's can't do and she's feeling left out. I cleared my throat,

"Oh!" Caleb exclaimed "We'll teach you everything we know Maria"

She smiled

"Alright how about you go put your bathing suits on and we can go in the pool"

They quickly got out of their seats and ran upstairs. As they were running upstairs someone was heading down the steps,

"Hey mommy we're gonna go swimming"

"That's great sweetie"

I got out of my seat and put the dishes in the sink hoping that if I keep myself occupied I won't start crying,

"Hey" her angelic voice is like music to my ears "you know we have a dish washer?"

"Yeah"

I felt arms snake around my waist and a chin on my shoulder,

"I'm sorry"

"For what?"

"Not being able to give you want Vanessa can"

I stopped doing the dishes and faced her,

"You give me so much more than what she gave me"

She backed away "Like what? What do I give you that she doesn't?"

"A family. You gave me Maria and Ethan, you give me a smile on my face" I stepped closer to her "you give me a reason to wake up every morning you're the reason why I love coming home"

"But she gives you something I can't give you all the time"

"What?...Sex?"

She crossed her arms over her chest and looked away. I came closer and tilted her chin up so she would look at me,

"A relationship isn't about sex it's about being with someone who makes you happy...Payton Ray Miller do I make you happy?"

"Yes"

"And you make me happy. I'm completely done with cheating I don't want any other girl except you ok?"

My arms wrapped around her body pulling her closer but her arms stayed where they are at, and I know why she's trying to create distance so she doesn't forgive me but it won't work. I removed her arms and placed them around me. I kissed her and after a while she kissed me back I bit her bottom lip and pressed my body against hers making sure there is no distance between us.

As my tongue danced with hers she left out a soft moan. I held her tight making sure she can't move. Her breathing accelerated along with mine,

"I love you and only you"

She didn't say it back. I pushed her back so her back was against the counter and her chest was against mine,

"I love you Payton I fucking love you"