𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐂𝐊𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐄

#.. TWENTY SEVEN

Hi there.
Okay, I grew tired of living the pathetic life I have. My father's antics annoyed me a lot. Nothing seems to work perfectly and I just can't find a reason to be happy. I mean I'm not even allowed to feel loved here. Sure, I have my friends (guys i love you) but it's not enough. And platonic love isn't the same as being loved romantically.

That night I returned with Jungsu, both of us being half-dead. They drowned me after I had to watch Jungsu being assasinated. They were re-opening his self harm scars, I don't think I'd ever be able to cope with that sight if I chose to stay alive.

Ahh and talking about Jungsu.. He died as well. I'm sorry I never told you guys, I couldn't find the right words for it. And I also didn't know to approach you guys again. But Jungsu died in the hospital, he lost too much blood and it took them too long to figure out his bloodtype, because our stupid school didn't know it. They don't know anything lol.

Okay so. I'll do individual notes to people I want to say something. Starting with my father. I wish I would feel sorry that I couldn't be the son you always wanted. But I'm gay and even though I am not here anymore, I'll stand by that. You'll always have a gay son, be ashamed of it as much as you want lmao. Honestly fuck you and all of the teachers that are involved in torturing the students. It's the governments will? That's what you always tell me but if it's the governments will and if you'd really regret tormenting us students like that, why don't you shut down this fucking school? So many innocent lives were ended here and mine ended here too, I hope you feel ashamed and rot in hell.

Second of all, my friends. Seungmin, Hyeongjun, Jiseok, Jooyeon. I hope you'll be able to read the note before any teacher notices it and throws it away to hide the evidence of my suicide. But anyways, I'm sorry I just left you like that. I was scared of seeing you. Being with you reminds me of Jungsu and I couldn't stop thinking about him. His death freaked me out, you know how much of an escape of the real world Jungsu was for me.

It sounds cheesy but its like my reason to live just slowly faded away. And I couldn't take it anymore. I'm so sorry. But I'm sure you'll be strong without me, okay? Graduate well and leave this fucked up place behind. You deserve the best, definitely not this education type. You only have each other now, please don't lose each other, too. I think losing two close friends is enough.

It was selfish to kill myself, but I really really couldn't continue living like that. At this point I wasn't living - I was just existing. Nothing felt real, I wanted nothing. No need to eat, no need to sleep, no need to do anything. It was horrifying.

Yup, that's it. I don't have more persons to write to. I hope the sight of my dead body didn't traumatize you lol (if you saw me)
It's gonna be so embarrassing if I'm gonna survive but oh well, we'll see. Thank you for everything my loves <3 (not u dad, go fuck yourself)

I'll be okay from now on. And you'll be okay too, alright? Jungsu and I will watch you from above right now so you better behave haha

I love you guys.
- Gunil