Sweet Lost Love

13

I jump on my seat in shock when Dash harshly open my room door. Nanahimik ako at nag-aayos ng gamit ko para sa klase bukas at ito siya na parang kung sinong pumasok basta.

"Dash, sa baba na kayo ni Liliana mag-usap. Hintayin mo nalang siya doon."

Hawak na siya ni Ate Emma na nakasunod sa kanya— hinihila siya palabas ng kwarto pero dahil sa laki niya at pagpapabigat ay walang nagawa si Ate.

Namumula ang mga mata niya na parang nagawan siya ng masama. I don't remember anything I did that might upset him— well, meron. I didn't watch his tournament. Hindi naman kasi kasali si Hesper. Pero nakaraang linggo pa 'yon at napagalitan na rin ako ni mommy.

"What's your problem, Dash?"

I cross my arms, letting him know I'm not scared even a bit.

"Is it true kayo na ni Hesper San Jose?" I am not even shock. I soft launched Hesper on my instagram, but to those who already know him kilala na siya 'yon kahit hindi nakikita ang mukha niya. Some recognized his car— even his bow and arrow, his hands— and for sure nabasa ni Dash ang comments na si Hesper nga iyon.

"So what kung kami na? What is it to you? We clear this out. Sinabi ko naman sa 'yo that I don't like you romantically."

The fury on his eyes disappear.  Disappointment, pain— He is hurt.

"I was the one who's always at your side, Lil." His voice croaked. I feel sorry for him.

I give ate Emma the look. She nodded and exit my room, leaving the door open. Me and Dash needs to talk things in private.

"Dash, sa balcony tayo mag-usap.."

Nauna na akong lumabas. We both need fresh air to clear our minds. I don't like getting told. And he should assess where he is only allowed to have opinion. Wala patutungohan kung pareho kaming maiinis lang.

I don't like venting out my feelings and be messy with just anybody. Kung kay Hesper okay lang. Because I know that man can tolerate my shits kahit na sinasabi niya hindi siya sang-ayon. Well, others also tolerate my shitty attitude but liking me after that isn't a guarantee.

Dash irritates me sometimes but I still want him to like me— not romantically but as a friend. I want to keep our relationship. Because somehow I trust him. A little. Not with personal things or with my feelings but I trust him to be there whenever I need him.

"Paano naging kayo, Lil? Ako ang nandito. Hindi naman siya nanliligaw sa 'yo."

"He doesn't have to, Dash. I like him enough to have a relationship with him."

He lean on the railing— taking few deep breaths like he's calming himself down. Naupo lang ako at tinitimbang ang bawat galaw niya. Dash isn't violent. But who knows?

"I treasure you as a friend. It was clear from the very beginning."

"But I don't want to be just friends, Lil."

I look away. However I explain he has his own wants that he will try to push to me.

"Alright," he mumbled like he's giving up. "Pero kilala mo ba talaga siya?"

"I'm between knowing him and getting to know him more, Dash. Bago pa lang kami."

"Okay..." Napatuwid ako ng upo nang lumapit siya. He bend down to hug me.

"I hope he's honest with you, Lil. Kasi ako hindi ako magtatago ng katotohanan sa 'yo kahit sobrang nakakahiya n'on para sa akin."

Hesper is so busy juggling his acads, archery and helping their plantation but he still finds time for me. He made sure to date me atleast once a week—  he also make an effort to see me even for a minute every single day. He's that dedicated with our relationship.