His Detka

10. Starting Over

That evening after dinner, I grab my plate and take it over to the sink. I grab a wet rag to wipe off the table. When I was done cleaning up, I started to walk up to my floor.

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After I found out that I was pregnant, Tony was kind enough to give me one of the family suites on the 5th floor. It had a room for Jameson, an extra room, a master bedroom suite, a small kitchen, and a living area. It took about a week before I was allowed into my baby & I 's soon to be new home. I had been sleeping in my former room by Steve, Nat, & Wanda. Thankfully, I had the Avengers who were now my family by mine and what should have been my baby's side.

Helping Mama & Papa with my siblings when I was younger was always so much fun. I helped whenever I could, and while I adore Lila... helping raise Cooper & Nathaniel was so much fun. Little boys were VERY active, and they enjoyed getting dirty and playing outside. We talked about dinosaurs and cars/trucks, super heroes, you name it.

After the miscarriage, Tony and Pepper let me stay up there. I couldn't move again..

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I was headed to the elevator from the common area when I saw Bucky waiting for the elevator to come back down. I felt bad about our encounter from earlier. He caught me on one of my worst days possible. Thankfully, he didn't see me on Jamie's death day, the funeral, or what should have been our wedding day. I wanted to apologize. No, I needed to apologize. It wasn't his fault. He didn't know and I needed to explain things to him. I felt more confident about talking to him now that I had gotten some of my frustrations out.

I walked up beside him on his right side and tapped him on the shoulder "Hey, Buck."

He looked over and gave me a small empathetic smile. My gut was telling me someone had already told him and I had a hunch as to who it was because he hadn't looked at me with empathy earlier.

"I wanted to apologize for being short and walking out on you earlier" while looking down at my feet and twiddling with my fingers. I was nervous, and I had no idea why. Maybe it was because he was handsome and kind. Or because my heart was pounding and the butterflies returned in his presence. I took a deep breath and continued.

"Jamie died two years ago and it hasn't gotten easier to inform anyone that he's gone."

"Blaire, hey, it's okay. Stevie told me. At first I thought it was something I said. I'm really sorry. If I would've known, then I wouldn't have said anything. How about we start over?"

"I'd like that. I think both of us could use a fresh start after everything the two of us have endured."

"Great, I'm looking forward to it" and his smile reached his eyes and it was so genuine.

The elevator finally comes down and opens up and we step in. I look back at him and he's looking at me with devilish smirk and reaches out his hand as if for me to shake it and says "Hi, I'm James, or you can call me Bucky"

"Hi, James. I'm Blaire, or you can call me Detka" and we shake hands. 

After he gets off on the floor below mine, I wave goodbye and tell him that I'll see him tomorrow. As I walk onto my floor, I see Mama washing some of my wine glasses and Lila is laying down watching tv. Mama looks at me with a quizzical look.

"You okay, honey?"

I looked over at her and said "Yeah, I made amends with Bucky. Not that he was mad about earlier. I just felt like he deserved an explanation."

"That's good. So, everything is all good now?"

"Yeah, we agreed to start over. Which I am thankful for. I met him on my 21st birthday, that night at the bar where Maria and Jamie planned my surprise party. Which reminds me, I need to check in on her."

"You know, that's how your mom and dad met. At a bar at least." and she chuckled. I forget sometimes that she knew not just dad having worked with him at S.H.I.E.L.D. but she knew mom as well. Mom wasn't an agent, but she understood the work. Well, that's what everyone who knew her said at least.

"You're going to have to tell me that story another time. It's time to curl up with my favorite video."

Mama walked over and gave me a big hug. I laid my head on her shoulder and didn't want to let go. I know that she didn't know what losing the one you love/loved the most felt like and I pray that she never finds out. It's not even something that anyone should ever have to experience. "Goodnight, Mama. I love you."

The next morning, all of us Avengers are focusing on training. I was in the weapons simulator with my bow in hand, arrows on my back, knives on my thigh, and gun on hip. Papa and Nat were in the controls room watching it all unfold. Nat and Papa would occasionally call out which weapons to use before the next "attacker" showed themselves. The walls for the simulator were made of Plexiglass so technically anyone and everyone could watch whoever was inside the simulator if they wanted.

Steve and Bucky were in one of the sparring rings when the buzzer went off to signal that my round was starting. Steve looked at Bucky and said "Come on, you've got to watch this. She's a total bad-ass."

"I already know Nat's a bad-ass." said Bucky, getting back into a fighting pose.

"Not her. Detka. She was trained by Clint and Nat growing up. She graduated top of her class from S.H.I.E.L.D."

They turned to look at the simulator and I was mid-throw with one of my knives and it hit the "attacker" in the throat. Then another one was coming from above and I pulled an arrow off my back and laced it through my bow and shot the next one in the heart. Bucky watched in awe of the scene unfolding before him. The last "attacker" was coming at me from straight ahead and I removed the pistol off my hip and shot them in the middle of their forehead.

Throughout my time in the simulator, I had managed to dodge every attempt of the different "attackers" trying to take me out. Steve was right when he said that I was a total badass. Bucky would've classified her as the same rank and level as Natasha. She was trained by two of the best agents at S.H.I.E.L.D.

I walk into the control room where Nat and Papa are sitting watching the replay of my time in the box. "There's my girl!" shouted Papa.

I couldn't wipe the smile off of my face. While playing piano always helped me feel better, sometimes using force and weapons really took the edge off.

"Way to go, kid! That's some of your best work that I've seen in the simulator." said Steve as he clapped me on the back.

"Thanks! It felt really good. I almost want to go again."

"Well, you were a little slow on the draw with your gun so that could use a little more work, but other than that you did great!" said Nat.

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Bucky staring at me. I turned towards him and said "Enjoy the show?" where the confidence came from, I have no clue, but I am here for it.

He flashed me a flirty grin and that's all I needed to get through another round of the simulator for more gun practice.