His Detka

18. The Interview

I can hear the director talking to the crew and cast of The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon and I am so nervous. I was fine living in the shadows and it doesn't matter to me that people wouldn't know me everywhere I went. If anything this puts me in even more danger. It puts the Reagan's in even more danger, but I will do anything and everything to protect them, and I know the team will help as well. 

I'm standing off to the side next to Bucky where the camera can't see us; patiently waiting for Jimmy to give us our que so that I can get this over with. I start taking the deep breaths that Dr. Raynor reminded me about minutes ago via our impromptu therapy session. Bucky and I's kiss from two days ago and me *almost* confessing to him that I was falling in love with him was not doing my brain any favors.

Bucky looked over at me and said "Hey, Detka. You've got this. Just breathe. If you need to, look at me during the interview and tap your left knee twice and I'll jump in and save you."

I looked at him, and was just about to tell him 'thank you' when Jimmy started our introduction, "Tonight, we have not one but two very special guests. Please welcome the two newest additions to the Avengers, Bucky Barnes and Detka!"

I could hear the live audience applauding, and it warmed my heart just a little bit. Bucky is wearing a black tailored suit with a white collar shirt but no tie. His haircut is slightly faded from the base of his neck to right above his ears, but long enough on top to style slightly spiked. I am wearing a black ribbed strapless bodycon dress with off the shoulder long sleeves, and black heels. My hair is in a slicked back half-up, half-down hairstyle. My eyeshadow is dark, and I'm wearing a shiny mauve lip-gloss.

We have a seat next to one another with me furthest from Jimmy. Jimmy looks at both of us and reaches out to shake our hands.

JIMMY: "Detka, Bucky. Welcome! We are so happy to have you both here."
DETKA: "Thank you, Jimmy. It's quite an honor to be here with you and everyone here tonight."
BUCKY: "Thank you, Jimmy. We really appreciate you, tonight."

JIMMY: "So, Detka, we understand that you've been an Avenger for a couple of years now. Why are you just now doing any interviews as well as being officially announced?"

Of course he'd ask me what took so long. I knew everyone was chomping at the bit, but I didn't realize it had been since Jamie died. This question just gives me loads of anxiety. I don't want people to know about my personal life. Ugh, why did I agree to this?! I start rubbing my hands together and massaging between my left thumb and index finger.
I guess Bucky noticed what was going on and he leans into my right ear and whispers "You're okay, doll. I'm not going to let anything happen to you. I'm right here with you." I turned to face him and when our eyes locked, he nodded his head ever so slightly. I took a deep breath and I turned back to face Jimmy.

DETKA: "Yes, that's correct. To be honest, Jimmy, I had something traumatic happen in my personal life and I wasn't ready to be in the spotlight and try to recover from the event."
JIMMY: "That's terrible. I'm so sorry. Are you okay?"
DETKA: "I've been doing a lot better, recently. It was almost suffocating at first."
JIMMY: "If you don't mind my asking.. what happened, Detka?"

And there it is. The million dollar question. I can't avoid this, not anymore. So I close my eyes and take a deep breath.

DETKA: "Well.. I lost my fiancé quite unexpectedly. He was a police officer for the NYPD, and he was killed in the line of duty, along with his partner when they responded to a call."
JIMMY: "Oh, Detka.."

Guilt of asking and bringing up such a sad time in my life is evident all across his face. Bucky reaches over with his flesh hand and touches my knee, and grabs my hand and lightly squeezes.