Not Your Best Friend

Admitting Feelings; Wrong place, Wrong time?..

Taylor

I was chilling at my crib, just Kayden and I. I was about to cook but decided to tell Kayden how I felt. I looked at him, and he was too focused on the tv.

"Kay"

"Yeah, Tay," he said

"I need to tell you something."

"Well, go ahead," he said

"Are you really that into the damn t.v? You're gonna be rude."

"Damn, sorry, Tay. Okay, I'm listening."

"Have you ever considered, you know, dating a friend"

"Why"

"Well, have you"

"I mean, it could happen."

"What would you say if I told you I had romantic feelings for you."

He started laughing, and I'm not gonna lie. It hurt my feelings.

"Funny, Tay, so what's for dinner?" he replies. I was taken aback by his response.

"Fool, I'm being serious," I say, trying to hide my hurt

"You can't be," he says

"Kayden, I have feelings for you, and I've had them for a while."

"Damn, Tay, why are you telling me this and telling me this now." I can hear frustration in his voice but now I was too focused on him thinking this was a joke.

"Because I was tired of keeping it to myself. But now I see that it was a mistake.'

"You damn right it was." he says standing up and looking at me.

"Really, you know what? It's time for you to go. I can't believe I just opened up to you, and you want to laugh and be about this bullshit. Get out."

"Bullshit, this whole situation right here is bull-like, really. Taylor" he says

"Bye, get out," I say, pointing at the door.

Shaking his head, he got up and left, and I put my head in my hands. I can't believe this, God, I was so stupid. Should I have kept my feelings to myself?

#

Rakim

I was chilling at the crib thinking about the other day. That was probably the wrong place and time to tell Porshia how I felt. Mainly because I know that she still has feelings for Nico dumb ass. I knew when they first started dating he was going to hurt her, but she was so in love, and he was just just a fucking idiot that he went and got her pregnant. I'm not even that mad because I love my godson to death, and I wouldn't change him being here. I warned Nico not to hurt Porsha, and what he did, he hurt her anyway, and now he's a freaking deadbeat dad. I shake my head, trying to clear my thoughts. I looked at my phone, blinking, seeing Porsha had left a message. I hadn't been answering her calls or anything like that since admitting my feelings. I knew I was a coward, but I didn't think I could take her rejecting me. It was better this way. I knew that no matter the outcome this was gonna change our dynamic and I wasn't ready to face the consequences of admitting my feelings.

#

Avan

I was at my house listening to Jackson talk about this morning and just shook my head. I knew for a while that Nani had feelings for him, but he wanted to avoid being in a committed relationship. Nani is the only person he's sleeping with but doesn't want to be tied down in a relationship. I wish he would tell Nani he is not even seeing anyone else. That could help with their situation. I knew it would go left when they started to sleep together, and I would be listening to one of them complain. For some reason, I thought it would be Nani and not Jack, but I was wrong. Nani and I have known each other since Kindergarten. We've always been close, and when Jackson moved and came to our high school junior year, he just fell in with us, and the three of us have been inseparable ever since. I remember when Nani and I thought we should be a couple, listening to others who thought we would be so cute or that we already seemed like a couple. Boy were we wrong, that was so awkward. I had never felt so uncomfortable kissing a girl as when I kissed her. That was the shortest relationship I ever had, I honestly don't really count it. That was tenth grade, and once we realized how wrong we were about our feelings and that our love for each other was not romantic, we decided we were better off as friends.

"Avan, are you listening" Jackson says exasperated

"Sorry, what did you say?"

"Something is up with Nani. She didn't even want to join me in the shower, and then she started talking about me being in love with her." he says

"Well, what exactly did she say and skip the shower details? I rather not hear about my two best friends' sex life."

"That's just it," he says. This morning, we didn't even have sex

I rolled my eyes. He was so dramatic. Sometimes I didn't see what Nani saw in him.

"Okay, so what did she say?"

"So I got out of the shower and asked her why she didn't join. She said she wasn't in the mood, then she asked if sex was all I wanted from her like we haven't been friends since high school, so she knows that's not all I want, and then I offered to shower with her, and she said no and the thing is dude she locked the door I heard the click of the lock." He says, I can't help but think how dramatic he is.

"Really, Jack," I say, shaking my head

"What you said, tell you."

"Okay, so"

"Before the shower, I even offered to shower. I told her I loved her, but she was like, "but you're not in love with me, and you know, I even told her if she wanted to stop this, we could, but she didn't say no."

"Okay, so you want my advice for what exactly?"

"Should we stop it, something is obviously up like she nevers locks the door."

"That's up to you two. You both are grown adults."

"But I'm not trying to hurt Nani. You do know that."

"Does she know that"

"She should, shouldn't she?" he says in a question like matter.

You should be having this conversation with her.

"You are not helping," he says, sitting on my couch

"Well, we are all going out tonight, right? So watch her. If there are signs that this isn't what she wants, then stop."

"I guess" he says

I shake my head, the two of them needed to talk as I didn't want to be in the middle of whatever it is they are to each other. But it seems like I would be no matter what I do or say.