Reverie Reviews

review #46.S3: SUG4RPOP

Title: SUG4RPOP

Author: laineejosephine
Reviewer: CoffeeAndSilverInk

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SYNOPSIS

What would you do if you were offered the opportunity to achieve everything you'd ever dreamed of, and all you had to do was take one chance?

That is the question Byeol Seong is currently asking herself. Stuck in a dead-end job, living at home with her controlling mother, and at her lowest, Byeol is given the chance to finally take ahold of her life-long dream of becoming a succesful musician.

The girls of SUG4RPOP offer Byeol opportunities and options she'd only ever dreamed of. With her new band, Byeol is given the shot at fame she's always wanted, but what will happen when a foolish mistake threatens to tear all their hard work apart and send the new band spiraling?

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Note: The following review is written by someone with no real writing credentials (uni degrees and anything of sorts), only the experience of many years within the wattpadian writing world and having written over 50 reviews in the past 2 years. Please note that reviews are subjective and not law, that they're opinions and should be taken with a pinch of salt. If the following review in any way offends you, please note that that is not the goal and it is one person's view of your story. You are entitled to agree or disagree with the raised points. If you are hurt and need to leave hate comments to feel validated, please don't. The reviewer doesn't care.

Title and Cover:

The title uses the name of the band that the story follows, therefore it's perfect. I am not the biggest fan of the cover. In my opinion it would look better if the whole title was written in the same font and the glow font was used on top. Obviously I haven't seen it that way, so I might be wrong. The colours of the background image are eye catchy, which is great, and the fonts picked also match. I suggest making the author's name smaller so that there is space between the beginning/end letters and the end of the cover.

Blurb:

The big spaces between each paragraph make them seem independent and blurbs should be consistent.

The blurb introduces the main character and her current life, as well as the main issue, very well. I think it'd be good to develop it more, but so far it is good and works.

Plot/Flow:

This is the story of a girl with a dream that finally manages to accomplish it, but that dream comes with costs. At first I thought it didn't make sense that the band was hiring when they were about to crumble, but I'm a huge Step Up fan and I know this is a plot that works. The "struggling to keep the dream alive" kind of plot is nothing new, we know it works and it has made some really great stories, so it would be naive of me to point out a flaw that is actually important to the plot. Besides, they needed a guitarist to call themselves a band and start working properly.

Openings are the most important part of a story, and this one could be improved. Instead of saying "pretty woman", try describing her. Also, don't introduce Byeol in such a detached way as "...song that the young woman, Byeol,...", because adding her name in the middle of the paragraph instead of saying her name right away makes it less meaningful, and "in question" is not the best sentence to use in storytelling when you're doing third person omniscient, it's too formal for this type of book. Also, avoid saying "her radio" because it's already implicit that it is hers.