Status: Open
___
Looking for a place to get a personal review for your story? Well, step in.
A workshop initiative by @TheSavantGirls since 2020
cover credits: @devianmisfit
___
Warning labels: The book was deleted once by someone who has beef again...
Ashild Davis was a normal girl up until she encountered a creature and a man from a different world on the eve of her nineteenth birthday. Forced out from the only home she's ever known and into the halls of Asgard because of the danger she's been presented with and flung into a war beyond her understanding, she finds herself needing to navigate not only this new world but also her own nature. Having discovered a mysterious heritage and powers that have made her a target for a rogue band of Jotnar, she must uncover the history of a mysterious conflict spanning eons all the while learning to control the power bestowed to her by her mysterious divine father.
▂▂▂▂▂▂▂
Title & Cover The cover is pretty good, not what I would think it would be with it being called Midgard yet it still has a nice feel to it. The title is pretty normal but at the same time, still coming across as something that makes you want to read it.
The title at the same time gave off the meaning of the story, anyone that had known what midgard was, had known what they were getting themselves into when they picked your book to read.
Blurb Blurb itself flows nicely, it gives off a good amount of the story without giving away too much of the plot. One of the things you could have improved in was to give more details about what this monster and man was that she had meant, without giving away too much that is. Other than that, the blurb was nicely done and gave a good idea of what the reader was going to be reading before opening it up.
First Chapter The first chapter started off nicely and slowly, which is good for a first chapter. It lets the readers get into reading it without being overwhelmed by all the information that is going on. You showed much of how the main character acted and felt, also the first meeting was very chilling at points of the story. The flow itself did speed up a bit yet at the same time it wasn't too fast, it stayed with a good pace of the story and the theme you are going with.
The rest of the chapters How you handled not only the story but the characters very well, the story flowed very well and it was easy to read. Some readers may get lost in the story as they may not understand much about midgard or the people in it. Even so, the way you currently go about describing each character and area of your world, they shouldn't take long before they realize much of what is going on in the story.
The way you're handling both the worlds and the characters shows that you have put in great time into making this storyline the best that you can. It shows in each chapter that I was reading, some parts may seem a bit off, but nothing too crazy nor anything that would toss any reader off.
Grammar and Spelling I couldn't really find anything wrong with your spelling and your grammar was very much easy to read and understand. Only thing that I can personally add to this part would be to try to use different words than use the same few words for descriptions. This way you can keep it fresh and readers don't see the same word over and over.
Plot The plot itself was one that I didn't really think I would be reading, it was a strange one at first, yet slowly started to get better by the minute. The thing that was after her and the way she had met the other group was a nice touch, how she reacted to seeing such things was handled very well. Sometimes it is hard to write about someone that wouldn't have a clue about otherworld beings or things, to handle such events happening to them. You seem to have portrayed it very well, keeping the plot to the main core of the story without making it confusing nor out of place.
Writing Flow The flow was pretty solid, a few times it seemed to go little out of flow but I don't think that it would cause any problems with the reading too much. If you maintain this flow, then your story shouldn't have many troubles or problems in the future. Just keep it at the current pace and don't try to rush anything.
Character Development You did a wonderful job with this area of the story and the monster itself was very well written. The way everyone acted around each other and how they were growing in the story was very well done, if you keep it going on you may really flesh out these characters. Just keep going at the pace you are going at, my advice will be not to rush it at all. I mean no matter how well you write a character there can always be room to improve on them and to flesh them out better.
Overall Overall like how i had pointed out before, as long as you do not rush things then this story could be very well written. There may be some points on the characters themselves that you could work on to freshen them out a bit more. Also, when it comes to the story you can try to show more without telling, more about actions than with words but i do feel that this story overall is a solid written story. Hopefully you can keep the good pace and build up till the end of the story to make it into something very great. Again, show more by actions not just with words, it is a strange thing to say but it can help the reader image better on what is going on with the story.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
