another round of hell between this two once upon a time best friends. except this time,they aren't "best friends" anymore ,rather,enemies.
could they be enemies to lovers? or friends to lovers to enemies?
oh,and they have a kid.
Ps:READ BOOK 1 FIR...
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"I am sorry I failed us"
6 words, 1 sentence and 1 lie has been stuck in my head after 3 whole years. It is still stuck with me and in me, until this very day. He did not just fail us but used me over and over.The more I think about it,the more I remember the hatred I have towards him,not only because of our dispute we had 3 years ago but because what happened after that day. Every day I regret every single thing I have done with him, but there is one thing I haven't regretted,giving birth to my beautiful daughter, Nova Princessa Coleman Holland.
Every time I carry her,see her laugh ,bath her,play with her and take her to her grandparent's house,i tell myself that nova's dad is dead and that she doesn't have a dad.Yes,dead. I don't want him part of nova's life anymore,therefore I am her dad too.I won completely 100% custody over her and as her mother ,what I know ,what is best for her, is to never have a father as cruel,heartless and cold as tom.
what did tom do that made me hate him even more? what did tom do that made me fight custody over my daughter? what did tom do that fucked me over ,still to this day? Yes those silly little questions are running in your head and sometimes mines, but then I remind myself what he has done,so let me do the honors.
3 years ago,after tom left me ,shattered and depressed ,lying on the floor, I had no idea that my life was never gonna be the same after that,that my life would turn upside down,that all hell would break loose. I bawled my eyes out for more than two months until I fell into labor. As always nadia and soph were taking care of me,they even moved in after a week of my devastation until nova turned 2,a year ago, and I was slowly back on my feet,they moved out.
I am so grateful for them,i owe the world to them. I don't think I would be as successful and happy as I am today and amazingly good if it weren't for them. They are my girls. Always. Tom didn't even come. H-he.... didn't bother to pick up his phone or show up to see his daughter.He wasn't there when I gave birth or at her first birthday. I-i understood that things were complicated between us but does he really wa-nt to take it out on his daughter? Our daughter.
He didn't show up for these 3 years,i was not messed up but fucked up and worst part of it all is that he got married to nadia few days after nova was born. He not only broke my fucking h-heart, but he broke the heart of those closest to me,includding my family. He moved on,he abandoned his daughter,he used me more than once and then all of a sudden he tried to fight custody for my daughter. Imagine?He tried to take her away from me? I hate him,so fucking much.
I can't even bear to hear his name.
But unfortunately,he fucking lost. Things went too far that,i placed a restraining order against him,he needs to stay away from my daughter and I might have,okay,I have changed her last surname to coleman. She is not a Holland,she doesn't inherit any parts of him whatsoever, and I will protect her against tom and the whole world if I have to. But none will ever mention his name around me and my daughter ever again. After all the trauma he has given me,I several all ties with him,he can go fuck nadia for all I care,have more children,but never come in touch with me and Nova.
I felt like crying, but I couldn't for some reason. My tears weren't dropping down my cheeks, but I could feel it,i knew that it was because I am feeling drained from thinking about the trauma I endured these past 3 years that still haunts me to this day. I got up feeling a bit stiff,so I decided to go for a quick shower,get ready,eat breakfast,go to my photoshoot and pick up my precious nova from her grandparents this evening. This weekend,Nova went to her grandparents while I had time for myself.
So grateful that I am not really raising nova alone,without my divorced parents,i am sure you know why I still say it like that but without them or nadia,jacobs and laura helping me with raising nova,God knows what would have happened or how I would have struggled to raise nova alone. Raising a child is not easy,i can kind of relate to that, but I rather raise her alone than with you know who.
So I got up,stretched a bit ,"Ugh,that was satisfying" I said yawning and opening up the curtains ,allowing the sun to reflect in my room and causing brightness. I did the same in the living room with the curtains,dancing all the way to the kitchen boiling some water in the kettle and dancing back to my room grabbing my phone and plugging my earphones ,while doing a quick clean-up before I head off to jog.
Took me exactly 15 minutes to do a small clean-up, brush my teeth,rinse my face and put on my jogging fit.People may find it weird to jog before you bath but for me,meh,if I smell,i might as well smell worse when I am done jogging and freshen up at once,remain clean and smell good. As i was about to leave,i remembered my boiling water. I poured all of it in my bottle.
weird?
is it weird to carry a bottle of warm water while jogging this season?
This winter season?
nah,i don't think so. With that,i left the house,plugging my earphones in my ear and playing music,as I slowly watch out for the cars,run across the road towards the park across. What a lovely Sunday morning. I thought as a smile appeared on my face when I saw things that amazed me like birds flying,chidlren chasing each other,two couple holding each other's hands and a mother giving a child ice-cream.
This is life,huh? I smiled again as I took another couple of laps and paused to drink my water,which was not as warm, but I was okay with it. After taking a couple of sips,i decided to pause my music,remove my earphones and just listen to the sound of nature as i walk past the other quiet side of the park. To listen to the birds ,wind flowing through the trees,feeling the cold breeze on my skin and listening to the splash of the water.
It was nice. I sat by the bench,trying to catch my breath as I observe the lady and son across,feeding some crumbs to the duck. I waved back when they waved at me. I decided to get back on the tracks when I realise the lady called other people as she recognized me.
sighs
adorable. I ran again ,a few more laps and realized how tense the laps began when I stopped each time to catch my breath. My water was halfway. I took a couple of sips and decided to go back home after one brisk walk and stretch. As I was doing my stretch,i felt a bone crack.
"Ugh is that a good or bad thing?" I said to myself softly. Damn,i was sweating and smelled worse. Yep,i am glad I didn't take a bath yet. I really need one. My phone rang when I was taking a long walk back to the park entrance.
Oh, it's mom.
Z:Hey mom,is everything okay? is nova okay?is she sick? is she hurt? did she-
momzzzzzz: w-woahhhh bugbear,she is absolutely fine,just calling to check up on you and also asking what time you will be picking up nova since we will be going out for a little treat
Z:(smiles); Oh,i am okay,just doing my morning routines,and since you will be going out for a little treat,then do you mind bringing her this side ,after you all are done?
momzzzzz; (chuckles) ofc bugbear,you take care, we will be in touch
I said bye and with that, ended the call.
But I wish I hadn't ended the call when I saw him again from a mile. Ofc he would be jogging here too,but why does my heart yearn to see him,to make him see me,to slap him too and to be around him...
