falling for my best friend 2

5) G is for Gone

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Tomorrow is Saturday. I can finally leave Boston. As much as I like Boston, I just want to go far away-I shook my head. No. Not him. Don't you dare think about him and what he just said two days ago. Ugh screw me, I already am. Today is officially a week staying in Boston and two and a half  hour ago was my last scene shooting in Boston. So the next few hours I am going to just relax and use it wisely before my flight which is early in the morning.

I know I should pack, but I like doing it last minute and besides I am not currently at my apartment. I am at the café called George Howell Coffee having my breakfast. It's still pretty early in the morning, and I am exhausted from the scenes I had to do at 3-6 am. ugh. I went home,i tried to sleep,couldn't,only slept for two hours . So I got up at 8, and here I am. Coming here for breakfast instead of making my own.

Ugh this is my second time eating the croissant and refilling my coffee. 

(A/n: I don't own any pictures in both my books)

These croissants are so good,i thought for the 76th millionth time while taking a huge bite.  As I was eating and scrolling through my social media acting like it's not a blown up,i felt a shadow covering my food and phone. I looked up and to my surprise ,it's nadia.

Great,first her husband and now her. I swallowed the piece of croissant down and placed my phone on the table,indicating that she can sit down. She sat down, and I can see how worried she is, and I already assumed it was about tom, so I took a sip and cleared my throat. "b-by the  way,i-i had no idea you were here,i was actually grabbing a drink and-

"What do you want nadia,not trying to be r-rude, but I was having my breakfast,so if you don't mind, could you please get to the point" I said taking more sips and placing my mug down again. "Sorry,uhm,let me get to the point,uhm tom and I are going separate ways in 2 months and I thought you should be t-the f-first to k-now" She said with both hands on her eyes and starts to cry heavily. Luckily the place wasn't full this time. It was just us and a young man listening to music while using his laptop.

I was stunned. Shocked was an understatement. I was at lost for words. Nadia...and Tom are getting a divorce...? Christ...what is happening- I was too shocked to even comfort her. She slowly removed her hands and I could see her light makeup ruined,eyes red and her hands shaking. "i-i suggested t-the divorce " She added softly. Her tears were still running down uncontrollably. 

"Is she okay?" One of the waitresses asked. I nodded my head ,not saying anything. The waitress left with a concerning smile while I held nadia's hand. "I-I really don't k-know what to s-say nadia...I am truly speechless" I exclaimed,rubbing her hand. "I-i am s-sorry,where are my manners...i-i don't even know w-why I decided to come straight here" Nadia stated,removing her hands from mines while wiping her tears.

I passed her my coffee,hoping it will calm her down, but she showed me her drink she ordered before she spotted me here. I,seriously was full-blown shocked and numb. All of my feelings were like on a pause because of the wave of the shockness. I didn't know how to process it. I also had a bunch of questions and seeing people starting to fill this place,i decided to take her away,maybe my apartment. 

After she took her sip ,I stated,"Hey...the place is starting to fill ,is it okay if we talk somewhere else,let say my apartment?". She nodded. I thought I wouldn't get recognized when I paid for my breakfast, but I was so wrong. Like 23 people asked for pictures and I reluctantly agreed until I went in the cab with nadia ,apologizing for the wait. She insisted on paying the cab. So she paid the cab, and  we took a selfie with him as expected.

I did not realise time flied when I saw the clock,10:30 . I have to call sof and laura soon, as always around 11:30. We would call every day since I arrived, we would always call at 11:30 because of my paranoid ass . what? Can't a mother miss her child? I miss my nova so much.  Nadia sat down on the edge of the couch,i assumed that made her comfortable ,while I came in with a tray. With glasses and a juice on it.

I poured the juice in both glasses halfway because that seems more...responsible? Ugh that  doesn't make sense but yeah. She began drinking hers while I drank mines too. "w-we had an argument...as always,a heated argument when he came back on Wednesday...and I am assuming,well it is true,he came from speaking to you,right? "She asked. I nodded my head while I took a sip of my juice,still processing the separation idea.

"We argued for hours,it was getting so messy and heated that...I slapped him,we yelled and shouted at each other ,I left the hotel we were booking and few moments before I left,i told him about getting a divorce because I didn't want to do this any longer. whether he spoke with you or not on Wednesday,i was...uhm prepared to tell him about the divorce. It's b-been a year and a half since I thought about this " She paused and drank her juice.

i-i was utterly numb. my heart ached...because im partly responsible for the marriage failing apart. I felt so sick to my stomach when I saw how completely shuttered she is . All this time, tom and I wasted our time at hating each other ,being selfish towards each other and completely ignoring how this has affected nadia...

"I am tired of arguing with him,i know marriage is all about facing the up and down things together and that arguing is a norm,but I can't. I can't continue this marriage where we only argue about one thing for 3 years,with no solution and is about his ex-girlfriend. His daughter's mother. I-i c-cant do that to Reuben,him,my family and me.  a marriage where we don't even sleep on the same bed anymore...i-i just can't ." she cried. Crying her heart out that she accidentally dropped her glass of juice. I didn't care about the glass,i was too traumatized by her crying .

I placed my glass on my table and took her in my arms,hugging her so tight but yet so calm and soft. I-i...I am the reason... I felt so shaken and upset. I could hear the pain in her voice...in her cry...which made me feel much worse... all this time during the marriage...it was all about me...and tom. for 3 consecutive years...

"you will continue to hate my guts just like I will continue to  hate yours but deep down we can keep trying to hate each other but know that we will always love each other despite anything."

Never have I felt more guilty hugging someone because of something I remember he said which I hate because it's the truth...every word is...true....,i still love him even at this exact moment...I love him so much that I used hate as an excuse for leaving me....

I hate that I love him...