Despicable Desires

Episode 8

Adeline

The rumor has been growing all day at school: the university results are in. So Cameron and I come home extremely nervous, our hearts pounding in our chests. My dad and Mia are sitting around the kitchen table, accompanied by Jayden, who is standing with a glass of water in his hand. When we enter the room, everyone stops talking and waits for us to notice the letters with our names on them.

"Look what arrived this morning," Mia finally says, obviously as nervous and impatient as we are.

I look at my stepbrother who is standing next to me like a stick. Our future hangs in the balance right now, in this kitchen, with the whole family watching us with anticipation.

"Let's open it together."

With our hearts in our mouths, we both nod and take the letters our family hands us. We exchange one last look, a small forced smile on our faces, and rip open the envelopes at the same time.

"Yes!" Cameron screams.

"You got in? Wow!" his mother exclaims in surprise.

Joy spreads throughout the room, mixing shouts and tears. I imagine heartfelt, warm, happy hugs. I stand there, unable to take my eyes off the few words written on the piece of paper I hold between my fingers: waitlist. What does that mean, waitlist? My breathing becomes more and more irregular and I feel like I'm suffocating. I'm not accepted. I think I'm going to throw up. I need air. Completely panicked, I open my mouth and try to breathe in some oxygen, but nothing works. I'm not accepted, damn it. I'm going to cry. Right there, in the kitchen, surrounded by my family, I see my dream of going to Seattle slip away. No gang of friends in the Emerald City, no living with my best friends, no new life in a new city. Nothing.

"Are you okay, sweetheart?"

My father's voice becomes distant, almost unreal. I am completely stunned by the news. I have to get out of here; I have to do something or I'll ruin everything. I throw the piece of paper to the ground, trampling it as I storm out into the garden. I hear voices trying to catch up with me, but I don't listen and run towards the beach. I stop at the shore, my sandals covered in wet sand, and enjoy the movement of the waves as they slide over my skin. I wipe my tear-soaked cheeks with the back of my hand, but the waves keep coming. I just can't believe it...

***

Sitting on the sand, my legs curled up against my chest and my head resting on my knees, I stare at the horizon and try to calm my breathing. I snap out of my thoughts when I feel someone sitting next to me. The light breeze of this early evening brings with it the scent of a perfume I know all too well.

"How are you feeling?"

I shrug without saying anything. My gaze still fixed on the ocean, I try to swallow the tears that come back. Arms wrap around my body, forcing me to bury my face in them. A hand rests on my hair, stroking it gently, making my heart beat slower and my breathing more regular.

"I'm sorry, little sis, really."

"It's not your fault. I should have paid more attention this year and had better results."

I pull away from his grip and look into his eyes. He seems genuinely upset about the situation, and I am very grateful for that.

"Maybe someone will give up their spot and you'll get in, right?"

"Cam, you read the letter, I have to wait for three people to drop out. That's huge."

I am devastated. I was stupid to want to enjoy my last year of high school, and now I have a more than mediocre profile. I knew the competition would be tough, but not to the point of not getting in the first time...