"Are you going to tell him?" Elisa asks me as we transfer our classes on the new lap tops I bought us today.
"I think he already knows. He suspected it before me." I say plainly. I would tell him but then he will make me come back. I have a doctors appointment this Friday.
"That's his child. You're not scared that he'll come and get you." Elisa looks at me shocked. I shrug and she drops the subject and we just continue with signing up. Nala is on my phone again and I hear it ringing.
"It's daddy." Nala smiles and I nod for her to answer it. She happily does so and I rub my stomach a little. You can definitely tell I'm pregnant now because its grown a lot over this past week. I can't believe how fast my stomach has grown. I've got a lot of time to think about when I will go home. "He want talk to you." Nala passes me the phone.
"Hello." I say into it with an attitude.
"Hey Lena." The bass in his voice is turning me on a little.
"What do you want Cardo?" I try to keep my voice even.
"How are you?"
I rub my stomach again before answering. "I'm fine."
"I miss y'all but I know I fucked up."
"You did Royally."
"Yeah, I know but um you got something you want to tell me."
"Yeah there is something I need to tell you."
"What's up?"
I think if I should tell him but I chicken out and change the subject."For Christmas I want us to spend it together."
"Whatever you want Lena but I know you're pregnant. I gave you a chance to tell me."
"Thanks giving is next week." I continue to change the subject
"I know man! You know we have to talk about this." he says and I laugh and hang up.
I wonder how Ray and Ryder are doing? I haven't talked to them in forever. I dial Ray's phone number and he picked up on the first ring.
"Hello." His voice is groggy.
"Hey Ray, are you okay?"
"Nah." he said. "I been going through it
"What happened?"
"She cheated with Cardo's punk ass father. I dropped my boys for her and now she left me with our son to take care of." He explains.
"I'm so sorry Ray but can you take care of Ryder?" I ask him.
"I been trying but it's getting harder with everything and I just want him to be safe."
"Do you want me to take him until everything blows over?"
"You already got Nala though."
"I can handle Ryder too but I'm in Bridgeport, Connecticut."
"When the hell did y'all leave San Fran?"
"I just left with Nala and one of my new friends."
"Why?"
"Me and Cardo are going through some things and I needed my space."
"But that's a lot of damn space."
"Not more than you put in between all your friendships for Katrina." I throw back at him but I instantly regret it.
"I'm sorry. I know you probably hearing that a lot from too many people but I am."
"I know Ray I don't even know why I said that bullshit."
"It's all good with your bi polar ass. I'll bring him down this weekend and then Imma stay with Cardo."
"Alright Ray, call me if you need me."
"Bye Lena."
"Bye Ray." After that I hung up and took a deep breath. I hope whatever Katrina is going through she gets over it. Ryder needs his mom despite her bitch ass ways. I can't believe how much she has changed from the beginning. She was kind and so humble towards everyone she met. Now she has a permanent scowl on her face and everything she says is a smart remark.
"How did you laugh and talk with him on the phone and rub your belly at the same time?" Elisa asks me.
"Easy." I shrug.
"You know what I mean." she looks at me quirked eyebrow. After we all got our showers we layed in our beds and watched a movie. Nala is so excited about being a big sister. I feel like everyday I don't tell her she's my sister is like everyday she will be hurt more. Sure she's only 3 years old but I think she will understand it just as well.
"Lena?" Elisa whispers because Nala is asleep in my arms.
"Yeah?" I whisper back.
"Can I be your baby's god mother?"
"Of course Elisa. You could be Nala's too if you want to?"
"I would love to." I smile at the thought of Nala having a good person to be around.
•••••••••••
Ray is waiting for me at the airport today and then I have to go to my doctors appointment. It's 9:23 and my appointment is at 12:00. I think it will be a boy and I'm kind of hoping that it will be. Me and Cardo should be together right now but I'm kind of scared to be around him right now.
"Te Le!" Ryder shouts as he runs to me through the airport. I hold my arms out and pick him up kissing his cheek. I walk to Ray and he is staring straight at my belly. I laugh and he looks at me shocked before wrapping his arms around me. He takes Ryder from my arms and still looks at me wide eyed.
"Stop staring, it's rude." I push his shoulder lightly and roll my eyes.
"What I told you about rolling them eyes and Cardo know you pregnant?"
"Yeah. You think I would run off with his child and not even tell him?"
He puts his hands up in surrender and I laugh but his eyes divert behind me to Nala in Elisa's arms. "Who is she?" he asks me.
"That's Elisa." I look at him and he nods before putting Ryder down and grabbing Nala from Elisa's arms and tickling her. She twists with laughter as she pulls Ray closer to her. It warms my heart that she is so happy to see him. "This is Ray and Ryder." I smile at Elisa while gesturing towards Ray and Ry. She nods and pokes Ryder's nose while he giggles.
I grab one of the suitcases and Ray grabs the other as we walk out to the car. Ryder is holding Elisa's hand and talking to her. We put the suitcase in the trunk and strapped the children in. I opened my door and stood in it turning to Ray as Elisa got in the car and waited for me. "You been to a doctor yet?" Ray asks me.
"I have an appointment in about an hour."
"I hope everything goes well and call me when y'all get settled."
"I will, I promise I will keep him safe."
"You ain't gotta tell me that I know you will." He smiles at me and kisses Ryder through the window before walking off back to the airport.
